Entries for January, 2004
January 2, 2004 , 06:32 AM
PumpkinSeed
MERRY New Year!
I hope this doesn't steal from the spontenaity of the Blog with all the cool features it has (the smileys in particular), but I'm typing this on my PDA lying on my bed.....ok now I'm on the Terlit. Yes you didn't need to know either.
Journals...Why a Journal? My first Journal Started back in 6th Grade. Our techer gave each of us a Blue notebook. She said it was our journal, then she gave us a topic to write on. Ok...not bad. This continued on through the school year, making us write Journal Entries with and without topics. After that school year, I continued to add entries...you could call it my "Diary" I guess. I still have it and use it. I haven't filed it up yet. My memory isn't very great, so I found the Journal to be extremely valueable to me for remembering things. Perhaps I hold onto the past too much, but you'll get that low down in another entry.
So that journal has chronicled this seed for over 11 years! Eventually I started to address the journal to MOM cuz I figured some day she'd find it and read it.
...And mom, if your rading this now, take note, I'd appreciate you NOT reading my blue journal!
I don't think I've ever mentioned having one to her...thought it would reduce the chance of her reading it.
Hardy, you were in my 6th grade class! Do U still have your journal too? Do U even remember that thing?
No, I don't want U to read my journal either!
Anways, you may be wondering just how big this blue journal is....after all it's over 11 years in use, and has a ways to go! It has 96 10 1/2x8" sheets. The only time I really flew through the pages was the months when I had my BIG CRUSH on *****. (I Think i'll spare her (and me) any possible embasment for now by not using her name)
Point being? I haven't journaled much. Only 54 entries I write some entries many months...even over a year apart!
Then in 9th Grade, I bought a Mead "Big Little" noebook for a Journal as instructed by the Teacher of English 1H. (Yes, I used to qualify for Honors classes!)
Then again, in 11th Grade, different High School, same concept...got a 3rd journal. This was the first time I saw a teacher actually grade journal entries! Dude!! Rutherford HS was a trip for me! More on that in another Entry, I guess.
Enter: Fall 2003.
New semester @ FDU, first time I'm taking a Buisness Mnagement Course: MGMT####, "Human Motivation and Behavior" w. Mary Beaven PhD. (Great professor...actually knows how to profess properly!) She has us do group work (HOWDY GROUP C!), and keep journals of what we learn, what happens in the group and to apply it to what we learn, etc, etc.
I wind up mostly using the Journal for writing the "etc, etc." part. I ralize now I was using that journal the wrong way cuz I things I had to chronicle but had no where else I was writing at the time. I don't regret doing the journal that way tho....except it's not very useful tward my Term Paper...which I still have to start and hand in by the 22nd!! I leared lot from it...Iearned how I learn, and how I don't, and a lot of other priceless stuff. (more on that in another entry)
Enter: Psion 5MX, 1st week of November 2003
BIG PROPS to Hardy! During the summer break, Hardy had a good talk with me, got me determined to definately return to college for the Fall03 Semester, and knowing my difficulties organizing my time, insisted I get a PDA, like an affordable Handspring Visor (Palm OS). At the begining of the semester, I figure Hardy's absolutely right, and so I do a little Google search to find a website to help me determine which PDA is best for me. I find a little article, and it compares Palm & Pocket PC, etc...then at the end mentions PDA's with keyboards made by Psion being popular in europe.
What the heck is a Psion???
well Google helped me answer that, and I knew what PDA was for me. The Psion 5MX made in 1999.
Took me 2 months of unsucsessful bidding on eBay, but I finaly got one in my price range for $48.52 (rebraded as an "Ericsson MC218")
ok..I'll try to keep this brief (till a future Entry)
Inspired by my personal goal for several years, and by my "Positive Psychology" class, I began keeping a "Dream Journal" in my PDA.
Inspired by Napolean Hill's "Think & Grow Rich", Gavin de Becker's "The Gift of Fear", and my "Victimology" class, I began keeping another journal on my PDA, which I simply call "Intuition" which can be simply defined as "thoughts that come...whether or not I believe them or think they make sence."
THEN I begin to keep a 3rd journal in my PDA...the one for my MGMT class is now legible!!! I still may continue this for a week or 3...till I finish my Term Paper.
Now the Intuition Journal has been very liberating, and insightful! I think that one may be the most valuable. It's a place to totally let lose. Where spellings and grammar don't matter. Where politcal correctness isn't considered. Where there are no mistakes or regrets. Where I'm getting to know me. I KNOW it's the most valuable of the journals!
I find myself daydreaming less. I think it's because of these journals...the daydream has been transmuted into something of use, and value, and of reference!
Enter: BLOG. (weB LOG.....THIS Journal)
I guess it's the natural progression in my journey of self development, self discovery....natural or virtual...I'll let U figure that one out.
You're in it with me! I'm HONORED at your presence here! It mens a lot! THANK YOU for spending your VALUABLE time here. I won't take it for granted, and I appologize...I wish I could say all I want to say in less words.......of that somehow reading it wont tak so much of your time.
I know...I'll add information how to have your PC read text to you out of your spekersheadhones..
..or I can post mp3's I got from p2p that teach speed reading (which I haven't listened to yet)WHO'DA THOUGHT?
Personlly, I've know of Blogs for quite a while and never had any interest. I thought it was a cool idea but who would want to spill their lives with the world? Who would want to be that exposed and who the heck would want to read it anyway?
I had the same thoughts of WebCams....still think the same actually.
But here I am, sitting on my bed again (yes I left the terlet a while ago) typing away my blog...I'm one of THEM now
"Us....and them......after all, we're ony one of them..."
Well this is me. Hope you're getting something out of this. I hope to keep up all 5 current journals while at the same time getting out more, hanging out more, and experiecing people more!
In 1997, I created my first web page, "Pumpkin Seed's Lair" It was nice, but didn't really have much content. Tripod erased it, but I have a copy on my Hard Drive...It'll get resurected in some form somewhere someday. I always had wanted to add content (words and pictures) to the site...so now I guess that desire is now this Blog. I've yet to decide what pages besides the Blog itself will go here, or to a new website. Stay Tuned! (1:33pm)
Currently Listening to: Tori Amos's "Hotel" from the album "The Choirgirl Hotel"
Currently Reading: Theodora R.R., Gwetchie, & SubZero's Tabulas journals
Currently Watching:
Currently Feeling: peaceful
Whadduya feelin?
January 6, 2004 , 12:56 AM
PumpkinSeed
Guess a Peanut M&M will have to do till they make a Pumpkin Seed M&M!
Something to keep you buzy while I edit down my next entry
Currently Listening to:
Currently Reading:
Currently Watching:
Currently Feeling:
1 insights Xpresed
January 16, 2004 , 09:28 PM
PumpkinSeed
on 12/31/2003 I was sleepy, so I actually took a nap.
At X pm, Danielle called but said would talk to me after I woke up
10pm-2:30ish I am @ Church
3am ish see Danielle online, but she goes to bed.
4am ish-10:30am ish sleep...get crazy dream that wakes me.
11:13AM-1:33pm writing 2nd BLOG entry, etc.
3:30pm-4:15pm eating with bro & Granny D.
4:30pm-8:30pm @ "office" with buisness partners to set goals for the year
8:30pm-9:15pm Nap before work.
8:50pm Danielle Calls, but says for me to sleep instead.
10:30pm on way 2 work, Call Danielle, but no answer
10:40pm-7am @ Work
12pm-3am Sleeping to Jewel's "Spirit" (Track 2 keeps skipping)
1am? Danielle called but said 4 me 2 call when I woke up
3:04am called Danielle, but now i think she's asleep...no answer.
3am-3pm awake @ home. Spent much of the day chatting online & adding links to this site.
4pm back in bed...typing this blog.
Guess Danielle will call soon once I fall asleep
It's hard for me to seperate my life into "Days" Life seems like such a blur of events without divisions. The above timeline goes from 12/31 till 1/3. This BLUR apparently is common with those who work nights....as is missing calls. The blur isn't simply because one is consious through at least 2 calendar dates at a time, but the actual BLUR is on account that we don't get proper rest. When you live on sleeplessness all thoughts get a little blurred...memories even more so. All the more reason to keep journals!
"But you've slept!" you may be thinking after reading the above timeline. That's true...I made sure I slept. And sometimes I sleep real long...BUT the problem is when we DON'T sleep. We night folks tend to stay up for long periods. like the above example shows about 26hours awake with 2 naps..
Then I slept 15 hours and am still sleepy. And if I don't sleep now, I'll feel crappier than usual 2morrow (Sunday) as I have to stay up till at lleast 1pm after workin 10:30pm-7am
I know i know..its not cuz I work nights, but that i dont organize my thyme propery. BUT can u imagine a day person, without insomnia staying up 26 hours commonly? Aint happening! Night people stay up in the day because they want/need to interact with the other humans, or do things during "Business hours"
And I don't want to give it up. I am such a night person.
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On Mon 5th 1:08 am Danielle called me but got my voicemail.
8:25am, I called her, but got her voicemail
FINALLY talk in the afternoon for a few minutes.
So it took at least 8 calls for us to get to talk for a few minutes.
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01/06/2004 7:52am
I am lying on my bed
just had a silly dispute with mom.
I stayed up all night and now am sleepy
mom wants to catch the Can-Can sale before the store gets crowded. she doesnt drive or lift Can-Cans, and I'm the only available candidate to do both.
I'm tired...got an appointment @ 7pm dont wanna go, and wouldn't be the most alert driver either.
blah blah blah..."bah bah black sheep"...stalemate.
I know I'm wrong for disobeying...but as usual my excuse is I'll gladly obey...later...like 10pm in this case.
Mum takes it personal, & thus is hurt right now.
If only everyone i dealt with were night people! (then would I become a day person???)
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01/10/2004 Saturday
It's now 6:47pm, and I'm lying in bed yet again. about to take another nap before work.
I just wanted to add since writing the above portion of this entry, i have spoken with a few people who work knights, and I must take back some of the generalizations I used to describe people who work/live overnights. What I wrote descibes me, and the life I make for myself. Just me...and anyone who mimics me. It doesnt have to e that way. I can scheduel and prioritize so that relationships, productivity, and my heath aren't hit. I'll figure it out!!
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01/11/2004 Sunday 5:02pm
=) Praise God, LIFE is good! and if it wasn't good, Praise God anyway! My mind gets ovewhelmed when I think of all the Good stuff God has done, made, given, and IS. This happens often while I'm driving. I get so overwhemed, my mind goes into reverse to protect itself! i start thinking of how amazing any 1 thing about/from/of God, and how that 1 thing alone would make himworthy of ALL Praise! How cool is it that God gave us Taste Buds??? Imagine just eating without them. Yes I believe the human species could likely survive without them, but surely many more would be dead fro eating poizonous sttuff. Eating would be sooooooooooo boooooooring and mundane! Just to eat cuz U know you have to, and to avoid hunger pains? We'd still smell food, but enjoy the food more by smelling it than eating it? Most people would probably eat very few foods...there'd be no incentive to taste something new, and different. Hmm...America wouldn't have been discovered by europeans! After all, it was on a search for spices! I know - your thinking that most taste is reallyfrom smell. So What if we couldn't smell but still taste??? Imagine drinking white Vinegar thinking it's water!
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The Phone Tag continues: Called Danielle from my job...she asked if she could call me back. When she did at 4:15AM, I didn't know till 50 minutes later when I got the voicemail (I bet Sprint PCS is to blme for most of this)
heh heh....this afternoon, when I called Danielle, and got her voicemail (of course). I left the message, "TAG!! You're IT!..."
1:38AM, Called me back, but I was finally asleep.
2:12PM, Called her back. Voicemail again. Guess she's sleeping now. She's IT! LOL
Guess I better transfer this file to my PC to upload it to the BLog. I've kept you all waiting long enough!
Catch ya's soon!
~LuvSeed
Currently Listening to: REM's Day Sleeper
Currently Reading: ProVantage's JanFeb 2004 Catalogue
Currently Watching:
Currently Feeling: (-|
Whadduya feelin?
January 16, 2004 , 10:03 PM
PumpkinSeed
yes i'm lying in bed again. It's pretty cool that the screen on this thing can glow so I can type with the lights out!
Last semester was my best, academically. Whether or not my grades reflect my knowledge of this fact is yet to be seen. There are classes I'm not sure if I'll get an A or an F, or what. I never know with some professors.
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01/15/2004 1:54am ...lying in bed of course
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1:34pm heh heh - yup, I fell asleep there!
I fell asleep at the end of the first one too. I was gonna go somewhere with that, bu now I forgot.
33
thats the # of things I set out to do yesterday in my "2do2day" list.
19 ½
that's how many I X'ed off as done! Yippie!
0
that's the number of things I've wrote down to do today. Guess how many of those I got done?!?!?
heh heh.
I've heard it dozens of times over the past year or 2, and now I'm just starting to apply it. Goals must be written. Goals must have set times which they MUST be done by. That sure helps when you encounter something you don't want to do now.
i gootta mention it. The snow last night, have you ever seen snow so beautiful? I never did. It was amazing. First while driving 2 church from FDU on Rt. 17 South fromo 6:40-7:05pm, I saw these weird swirls of snow swirling just above the dry ground as wooshed by the vheicles in front of me. I cant think what to compare it to right now. It was just weird. Like as if snow wasn't made of water, but was totally dry. I guess kinda like saw-dust. At the same time, in my rear-view mirror (I coulda just typed RVM for any true PJ fans), the cars looked like they had a white ora arround them. pretty cool. Then after church, all the cound was covered with white sparkling glitter. I personally hate glitter...when it gets on me, but this was different. very cool, and uniqe. I asked my granny if she ever saw anything like it. i got a confusing mixed answer, but I think I can interpret it to mean: "I've seen a lot of snow, especially, when I grew up in NY, and this is beautiful, I've never seen anything like it." I hope that's an accurate interpretation.
Pretty dangerous tho - tires had bad traction, especially on turns. But I had a little fun with it, sliding with my sneakers.
So your wondering why the heck I keep typing into this thing, but not sending it to my BLog for nearly 2 weeks. Well 1. theres stuff I keep wanting to add before concludig the entry. and 2. I have to restart my PC to connect it to the Psion a 2nd time, and I don't want to restart my PC most of the time cuz it's uploading & downloading a whole bunch of good stuff on WinMX, and whenever WinMX closes, it erases it's memory of who has/wants each file, then U have to hope WinMX finds those people again, and they find me especially when trading files with somebody. Maybe It wouldn't feel like suh a big deal if I wasn't using a dial-up modem.
Why do i have to restart my PC to connect the Psion?
I think it's some bug with the older Serial/Paralel port technology (& Windows XP?). Don't take USB & FireWire for granted, folks! It's come a long way!
Currently Listening to: Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics's Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel
Currently Reading: Gary Null's The New Vegetarian
Currently Watching:
Currently Feeling: goofy
Whadduya feelin?
January 17, 2004 , 02:14 AM stickied, favorite
PumpkinSeed
1. New entries are shown on top of the previous ones, unless I "STICKY" them, (like I did to this one). Earlier entries are avilable by clicking "Backwards 8 entries" at the bottom of this page, or by browsing my "Archives" or "Categories".
2. At the end of each entry is a link to read and leave comments. Let me, and everyone know what you're thinkin. Work with me folks! I get notified when you comment, so I'll be reading =)
3. Note the links for profile, gallery, links, content, etc. I especially want YOU to browse my links. Trust me - it's good for you!! I got yer back!
4. That thing on the right is called a "Tag Board" It's like a chat room in S-L-O-W motion. It won't give you whiplash like some AOL chat rooms. Have fun with it. Meet me & my friends there!
5. Get yer own Tabulas Blog! It's free! (though I recommend the PAY version to support the site. The webmaster is currently footing the bill!)
6. Welcome! Enjoy your stay! Bookmark PumpkinSeed.tk & come again!
~LuvSeed
Currently Listening to: Daniel Bedingfield's If You're Not the One
Currently Reading: Carvin's Feb 2004 Catalogue
Currently Watching:
Currently Feeling: Welcoming & informative
6 insights Xpresed
January 22, 2004 , 08:16 PM
PumpkinSeed
=)
EGAD!!! Midterm paper is due the 22nd! I Should hand it in on the 21st.
and i didnt really start it yet!
honestly, I dont fully understand it, how it sould be structured, what kind of information, what style, order, layout, etc. etc. that I wnt to implament.
Heck, I've never even done a "term paper" before, so I have no reference experience to call on.
I gotta get out of this house!!!!! Hope the car is ok enough to get me outta here 2morrow & back @ FDU where I have a chance of getting this thing done.
"What's wrong with the car?" you ask?
umm
heh heh
remember the lovely snow I mentioned in the previous entry? Well I now respect snow for more than it's beauty!
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01/19/2004
Yesterday, while driving to Rebecca's house, I had to make a right turn. I musta been taking it under 10 mph. I'm now told I shoulda stopped first before turning. Thanks! Anyways, the car & snow agreed to veer right instead of turning right.
A Right turn would lead to the next street over. A Right Veer would lead to a telephone pole! HELLO!!
That's my first significant impact as a driver. (I've had quite a few before I could dismiss as insignificant)
It's amazing how peaceful me & my brother felt before during and after the crash. We give credit & thanks to God for that peace. It sure comes in handy! We both had that peace when going in for surgeries for life threatening conditions in the past. (I was just freakin out over the needles!)
Anyways, at first I was concerned the car was gonna blow or sumthin cuz I saw steam coming out from under the hood. A few minutes later I relized that was only cuz snow got on the engine.
We haven't properly inspected the damage yet, but so far it looks as if the car is fine except for the dents & bent radiator & frame....oh yeah, my Psion got a problem in the crash: A part that kinda rides a rail got de-railed. Kinda like a dislocated shoulder I guess. It still works fine, just U know something's definatley wrong. Maybe I can get my Chiropractor to fix my Psion?
We later drove home with no problems, except we had trouble opening the doors cuz the snow froze around the doors' frames. Took at least 6 minutes to get a door open. That's a first!
Note the pic of the tire tracks from the perspective of the pole. See those 2 dark lines at the top going left? That's the "Right Turn" I mentioned above.
So the car hit the pole dead-center right on the lisence plate. Note the pic showing the impression of the lisence plate on the pole. We left our mark! My bro thinks the impression is on the snowice that was on the pole, but I think the impression was also left in the pole itself. We'll check it out closer next time we stop by.
...........................
Man, I need a good masage or 3! A really painful massage would probably do the trick! I wonder if there's any truth to the "Sahagian Curse" my aunt spoke of...where the Sahagian men get back pain. Hmm.
I'm actually listening to music for once! Usually when I fill in the "song of the moment", I put down the song that's currently running through my head. (more on that in another entry) Listening to "Superunknown" by Soundgarden. So far so good! Glad to report I haven't noticed any cusses in the whole album! That means it's a valid candidate for the Q overnight playlist!!
OK. Right now I'm upstairs in the little office-space my brother set up (now this room is tax-deductable!) so I can work on my Term Paper. It's not as good as doing homework in a classroom, but It's better than my bed! We'll see. The paper is due in about 62 hours. As Jeff Olsen says, 80% of the work gets done in the last 20% of time. Except I push it to more like 98% of the work in the last 2% of time
So that's enough from me for now! Laterz!
~LuvSeed
"SHARE
if it makes you sleep
if it sets you free
if it helps you breathe.
....
CRY
if you wanna cry
if it helps you see
if it clears your eyes" ~My Wave by Soundgarden
Matt Cameron is 1 great drummer dude!
Hmm....maybe Soundgarden isn't the most uplifting thing to listen to:
"I know I'm heading for the bottom, but I'm riding you on the way!" heh heh
hmmm...
Currently Listening to: Soundgarden's Superunknown
Currently Reading: Pumpkin Seed's Journals 4 "Human Motivation & Behavior" course
Currently Watching:
Currently Feeling: Alive in the Superunknown
Whadduya feelin?
January 23, 2004 , 12:04 AM
PumpkinSeed
crap. For like 10 minutes I've been trying to put the Psion keyboard back on it's track....no luck yet. In fact I think I started to make some of the plastic case crack from too much pressure. If it stayed off the track forever, the bouncing keyboard wouldn't bother me too much, except I'm concerned that by doing so, it's subject to get more damage done to it easily. Especially now that it doesn't close properly.
I guess that's sorta how my dad feels about the hood of his car. I shouldn't complaine.
He looked at his car today. (well really yestreday if U wanna be picky) Just keeps saying how I shoulda drove slower & stopped before turning. It's too bad he just removed the insurance that would cover this damage a few weeks ago. Now it looks like repair would run several grand! My dad sure can't wait till me & Dan get rich! i guess we should hurry up with that. I'll have to set that goal soon.
Hmm....how about I start with $1,000 for Feburary? That's doable, even for me! A nice healthy start. That's $1,000 in addition to my job...so that's like
1,484.20 together (Gross income)Sounds like a plan! Well something to base a plan on!
For those who don't know, I have a hard time with goal setting. THUS a VERY HARD time with goal achieving! But the secret is that because I never set a goal, i didnt miss it! See! That way I avoid feeling the sad feelings of not achieving a goal!! And I stay comfortable looking to the future when everything will be ok.
Obviously my future is a result of what I'm doing now, so what I'm doing now has got to change! First step...have a goal for my future. I'm starting with Feb 29th. In atuality I know I'm supposed to start with LONG term goals and work backward but I'm not ready for that. I know I'm doing it wrong, but at least I'm doing it! Do you have a clue how many months I've been without ANY finantial goal? Not good! And the results proove it!
Lets see....goals aren't easily achieveabe unless they are backed by a strong reason to achieve it! Let's see. WHY should I earn $1,000 by Feb 29th???
Hmm...well in the process of earning $1000, I'd also earn points toward going to an all expence paid vacation to a 5 Diamond Resort in Cancoon... But that would mean I need to earn the points in Janurry & Feb. Can I earn 10 points in 10 days?? Well of corse I can...that'd be good!
See how goals work backwards!? Now instead of "earn $1,000", I got "Go to Cancoon with a guest, all expences paid in 2005 by first earning 10 points in 10 days & earning 10 more points in the following 29 days....which would just happen to also make me earn
1,000 or so by Feb 29th."That works!
I don't know much about Cancoon, but I'm VERY into an all expence paid vacation for 2, wherever that is. I guess it'd be nice to try a 5 Diamod resort too! Now I hope Dan also earns his points so he doesn't bug me to be my guest!
Who should I bring? hmm...
What should I eat? Can you get sick from eating Lobster all day & night? mmmmmm! Lobster with hummus! =P
What should I wear??? heh heh
YAY! I set a goal! Now I gotta write it down on post-it notes everywhere, so I keep it in sight & in mind!
Hmm....that reminds me....I got a Term paper due in about 54 hours. I think I'll talk to you later! Gotta go! Bye!
Seed Out!
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12:52pm
heh heh - I can't count.
I just put up a bunch of post-it notes around the house with:
"10 points
10 days
Sat 1/31"
and
"Term Paper
Turs 7 AM"
it's really 12 days, not 10.
I'm still gonna call it "10 points in 10 days" cuz it sounds better than "10 points in 12 days"...and it sounds more urgent. I need things to be urgent or I don't get 'em done.
Or I can simlpy change my goal to Jan 29th. That'd be 10 days!
It's almost 1pm.
g'knight! (o:
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1/20/2004 9:15:36 PM
I can't take it!
I can't take it!
where are my earphones?????
GOOD GRIEF!!!!
I now know what people mean when they refer to their "blood boiling".
This is still new to me. And to think people live with this daily!
Yes folks...I just ran upstairs and put on my earphones with some CD...it doesn't realy matter whiich one.
I can't take it. NOTHING ELSE EVER did this to me!
What's the fuss? The lies! I cant stand lies...being applauded. eech! Is that what it felt like to be a Jew listening to Hitler in Germany????
Yes...My parents are listening to "the state of the Union address", they blast it, and clap along. I can't take it.
Gwetchie, remember what I wrote about using Music as an escape from truely living? Well it's also useful for sanity in times like these!
Maybe I should be listening to Soundgarden's "Blow Up The Outside World" instead? heh heh.
BREATH IN....................BREATHE OUT
..............
REPEAT.
................Repeat.......
that feels better.
beathe.........breathe
ahhhh.
phew.
This isn't the first time. It's happened a few times...when I seehear him on the TV. I just keep saying "B.S." to myself, and feel like punching a wall or something.
ONLY with G.W.B.! I don't want to hate him. Good Lord, I don't want to hate anybody!
Good Lord help me! Good grief!I don't even know if I hate him. I can't stand him tho, that's for sure!
And I feel guilty....partly cuz I have a hunch he doesn't have a clue how evil & decietfull his words and actions are. For those who don't know, GWB didn't even want to run for president! He's a freakin puppet!
At least he was. I don't know the extent of his autonomy these days.Ow! This music is too loud.
how can you hate an innocent puppet?
They don't even know what they're doing! Just following the puppetmaster as is their nature.I dono
I still have some faith in democracy, 
truth, justice, and all that. Geze. I haven't really been following the presidential candidates that much at all. I can't even say there are any I like....maybe Rev. Sharpton? I'm regesterd as a Republican so, i can't even help with the primaries.
Right now I'm tempted to go along with the lines of the bumper sticker: "Anyone but Bush 2004!"
breathe.....breathe...
do you have any clue how many lives are ruined by the Bush administration?? Can you bear to imagine an additional 4 years of this?. It's sickening!
Heck, even I'm affecteed! It's amazing what you can get away with when you controll the media...without having to use force! The Free Press willingly under controll! sick!
in any coup attempt in the world...one of the first targets is Radio, then TV, etc. There are many reasons I have a passion for radio. it's power to educate the people is one of them. I just took a class (focused on Mass Media) @ FDU called "The Right to Know" I've been wanting to take that class since 1999. It wasn't what I expected. The sadest thing about it was the lack of interest shown by the students...the future reporters, writers, anchors, etc! i don't get it.
At least we still have a free thought in the
Equinox & WFDQ And WBAIPacifica & WFMU ...and Public Access cable channels Just today or yesterday, mom said how it was interesing that she heard more news on the BBC TV News show than from USA TV news. DUH! heh heh. I bet most "americans" don't even know they can get the BBC news here in the states on broadcast TV & Radio.
ahhh...i still hear applause in the background! I need to get my left earphone fixed.
breathe...........breathe
I bet tomorrow's Missleader.org newsletter is gonna be pretty big!
breathe...........breathe
i think Ashcroft may be a bit of a
too, based on an interview I read that questioned why his actions as attorney general are the opposite of his expressed beliefs & opininons.The nation led by puppets? Who's really running this place? It sure aint Congress! And it sure aint "The People".
You guessed it!
Some rich white men. Whoever they are, you just know they're white & rich.Isn't "Rich White Men" the name of Michael Moore's new book? I'll have to listen to that book soon.
I hope people don't hate me when I become a rich white man..........i take that back!
I hope people hate me when I become a rich white man.
I'm going to make a difference in this world. And people who cause change are hated. PERIOD. That's the way it works! I'll get over it.
Martin Luther King Jr , Martin Luthor, Moses, Mahatma Gandhi, Led Zeppelin, The Beatles, Jesus , Abraham Lincoln, Mumia Abu Jamal( 
), Scott Ritter , Michael Moore, all the prophets & apostles, etc. etc.the way I see it, if I'm not making someone upset, I'm more than likely not making a big difference in this world. They'll get over it.
I know there are good things a person can do without getting much or any grief from others....but I guess I'd rather do something bigger....not necesarially better. I aint down-playing the great things people do without getting hate. KEEP IT UP!! IT'S NEEDED!!!
where am I going with this?
Guess my theory needs revising. heh heh.
crap. I'm sleepy, and it's only 12:03AM! And I didnt start workin on my term paper today yet (I did some yesterday!)
oh by the way, since I just payed off my balance @ FDU from last semester, I just got my grades in the mail today! A, A-, B, C+, & an Incomplete! I think that's either the best, or 2nd best set of grades I've had since I started @ FDU! And this was the first semester since I started working my business! Some people feel I wasam taking away from my studies by also working my business. For a time I felt the same thing, but what I found was that it actually helped me with my studies. Weird, huh? Maybe not! It's made me a more diciplined person. It's helped me learn new ways to organize myself better, express myself better, communicate with people better, keep focused better, listen to people better, have a better self image, present mysel better, and even keep my appeance better, etc. I also found the things I've learned in the business, much of it Personal Development, helped me approach some of the topics covered in my classes with a different insight & perspective no one else there expressed. I was able to contribute these different ides to the groups & classes I was in. In the past there was much less that I would contribute. I also give credit to WBAI for that too! I consider listening to WBAI as my 2nd college education. (Free tuition thanks to listener supporters) Someday in the near future I'm going to give back to WBAI so they can continue edutaining myself & others.
Don't have a clue what my INC. will turn into....unless I don't hand in this term paper, then I'll get an F for sure.
speaking of....BYE!!!
.................................4 hours later:
YAWN!
This aint good. I just spent 3 1/2 hours sleeping at this desk instead of Term Papering. I did the same yesterday till about 8am.
OK - I think I'm awake enough now to continue.
BYE!
........
6:16am
I hope I never get over the thrill of a good Tripple-sliced Peanut Butter & Jelly sandwich w. milk.....except over the years it's developed into a "Super Chunky Natural Peanut Butter & 100% Fruit Spread on whole wheat w. enriched Vanilla Rice Milk"
LOL
I love it! About a pound of complex carbs, fresh protien & absorbable calcium! =)
FOOOOOOOOD!!! WooHoo!!!
the best part is when it gets small enough to dunk! mmmmmm!!!
fooooooooooooood!
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1/21/2004 10:50:01 AM
01/21/2004 10:50am
Masters of war
retrospectively speaking...
Michael Moore's new book is called "Stupid White Men", NOT "Rich White Men" as I had guessed earlier. (I'm downloading it now)
My flipping out over GWB, briefly stated, is the result of my passions for Truth, The Constitution, Due Process, Justice, and Christ.
I'm confused though. I understand having a burning passion for the above things causes a hatered for Lies deciet, Injustice, disregard of the laws & identity of the USA, and False representations of Christian ethics & biblical truths.
Where I'm confused is my mind is mixing up hate of concepts with the face & voice of a man, who to me represents those concepts which I hate, and also happens to be my representitive as claiming to be my elected, president, and a fellow christian. I understand every pressident has claimed to be a christian, but this dude really wraps the christian flag arround himself as he screws the world over. i'm just hoping people don't get the wrong ideas about Christ & His message by looking at this wako. good grief!
If GWB had any sence of integrety, he would have not accepted being appointed as president by his buddies in the supreme court after clearly loosing the election despite the thousands of voters who were prevented from voting not for him.
the funny thing is, this is politics as usual...I'm just catching on lately, now that it has become so blatant. If they were better liars, I probably would love the guy! heh heh.
good grief!
The only 2 reason I think he has such a high approval rating is: 1. People take what's given to them by the mass media, and dont look for the truth....they think they're given the truth. and 2. aren't approval rating questions YES/NO questions? That's as silly as someone saying "You're either with us or you're with the enemy."! As stated by the lovely Arundati Roy, No one should have to make such a decision. Of corse there's good things GWB has done! Even better things promised & not done! (hint hint) so when someone thinks of those good things, and the lies they've been fed, of corse many will approve!
Almost reminds me of President Husain's 100% YES vote to stay as president. You're either for him or against him...if you're against him, you die. Sound familiar?
good grief! Lookout Bagdad! Branded pre-packged democracy is on the way! "For the people, by the puppets."
Enjoy! Better luck to you!!
12:02pm... 19 hours till Term paper due!
tick....tick....tick....tick....tick....tick....tick....tick....tick....tick....tick....tick....tick....tick....tick....tick....tick....tick....tick....tick....tick....
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7:29pm
I'm skipping church tonight to finish up the term paper. That sucks cuz I just learned that the missionettes (kinda like girl scouts) are holding their preleminary singing contest tonight, to see who's gonna go to the state competition....and I'm the sound engeneer (AKA "Sound man")! Normally Pastor Pra could do my job well, but he's away! I hope all goes well. Oh the guilt! I have to stay home listening to MxPx instead. Oh well! I'll get over it!
+) THANKS, ALEX!! (+
I feel bad for you, all these months without your MxPx! Poor thing!
...................
11:35pm
7 1/2 hours! I'm barely done 1 small section! EEK!
MxPx WILL HELP ME! I WILL HEADBANG & BOP MY TERM PAPER INTO COMPLETION!
EEK!
...................
crap - keep dozing off. Not good for paper!
bop bop bang bang
"Do your feet hurt?
Did you fall from heaven?
Cause you've been running through my mind all day"
.........
"If you have a brain, and use it too,
you've gotta know I have a crush on you."
heh heh
punk rock pickup lines
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5:02am
ow!
I have several red squares impressed into my forehead. I fell asleep onto this keyboard!
ow!
yeah, I'm going to be safe to drive to school in 1 1/2 hours!
ow!
................
6:47am
GOOD MORNIN!
zzzzzzzzz
Off to school as soon as I print out the the three of 5 parts of the term paper i've completed so far!
Lata!
~LuvSeed
Currently Listening to: MxPx's "Life In General" & "Live At The Show" on repeat
Currently Reading: audiobook being downloaded: Michael Moore's Stupid White Men
Currently Watching:
Currently Feeling: zoned out
1 insights Xpresed
January 26, 2004 , 03:24 PM favorite
PumpkinSeed
O God, if only you would destroy the wicked! Get out of my life, you murderers!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!
They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries 
misuse your name. O LORD, shouldn't I hate those who hate you?Shouldn't I despise those who resist you?
Yes, I hate them with complete hatred;
I count them my enemies. Investigate my life, O God, find out everything about me
; Cross-examine and test me, get a clear picture of what I'm about; know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. 
Point out anything in me that offends you, 
see for yourself whether I've done anything wrong--then guide me on the road to eternal life. ----------------
Guess I'm not the first person to hate those who misues God's name! The above is a compilation of quotes from a song by some Hebrew named
Dave Click his name for the source texts.
I can relate.
Yes - this is my reflection of those in the Bush Administration.
Currently Listening to: Sara Groves's Know My Heart
Currently Reading: Dave's Songs, Paraphrased in English's The Message,New Living &
Currently Watching:
Currently Feeling: cold...in several ways
Whadduya feelin?
