Entries for March, 2004
March 22, 2004 , 10:52 PM favorite
PumpkinSeed
I never thought a sore throat could feel sooo good! 
More details to come!
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There's a new me coming out
And I just had to live
And I wanna give
I'm completely positive
I think this time around
I am gonna do it
Like you never knew it
Ooh, I'll make it through
The time has come for me
To break out of the shell
I have to shout
That I'm coming out
I'm coming out
I want the world to know
Got to let it show
I've got to show the world
All that I wanna be
And all my abillities
There's so much more to me
Somehow, I have to make them
Just understand
I got it well in hand
And, oh, how I've planned
I'm spreadin' love
There's no need to fear
And I just feel so good
Everytime I hear:
I'm coming out
I want the world to know
Got to let it show
~"I'm Coming out" by Diana Ross
Currently Listening to: Diana Ross - I'm Coming Out
Currently Reading: Love Is Letting Go of Fear
Currently Watching:
Currently Feeling: GENUINE :heart:
5 insights Xpresed
March 29, 2004 , 04:30 AM
PumpkinSeed
lets see
8:33pm
So here I am - sitting at terminal A34 in Newark International Airport
Headin off to Illinois probably in about an hour.
Lookin out the windows watching all kinds of vehicles of different shapes & sizes with plows attached to the front of them drive this way and that (and the other & back again)
MUSHY-MUSHY!
HA - tere goes a red one going backwards! What good is plowing backwards? Guess Forwards didn?t help much so decided to try something different!
never mind - it's back again with a ton of slush in front of it
hmm - I think they just announced something about my flight, but they used the PA speakers @ Terminal A31 so I couldn?t hear it well
...never seen so many vehicles moving around at the airport before.
yawn!
heh heh - the SUV's look so small.
YAWN!
Well first off, my apologies to keep you waiting so long for me to write again
seems like that's all I do lately is keep people waiting for me.
waiting to fix their computer
to write them an email
give em a call
take out the trash
unplug the toaster
waiting for me to let them download files from me in WinMX
waiting for me to turn in my homework
to pay their bill
to send them a thank you note
let them know I need their help
to let them know I love hem
for a hug
for information o "that legal thing you do"
to cut my hair
to make time to hang out
to copy that CD
To buy their groceries
to return their groceries
to clean my room
to graduate & get a diploma
to get a "good job" (YECH!)
to get a girlfriend
?and get this? - to get you a daughter-in-law to talk to & hang out with.
hmmm
What - no great grandchildren???
heh heh
ahhhh -LIFE IS GOOD
MY LIFE in particular!
well Life in itself is good
a good thing
is life a "THING"??
eh!
Ha - that person is having fun driving fast with their SUV in the slush! SPLOOSH SPLOOSH!
Wanting...Waiting....For you to justify my love...."
Never realized before how this airport is like a mini-mall
The other day Lewis (See - I remember your name) was telling me?
was it Lewis???
well someone was telling me that in this "International" airport, local taxes don?t apply or sumthing like that...like when out at sea beyond national boarders.
does that men that crimes committed here are only held to international law?
What about crimes at sea? who's jurisdiction is that? Is it then just a "crime against humanity"? That explains the gambling boats, guess gambling for $ isn?t a "crime against humanity"
Oh, speaking of Crimes against humanity, I just got outta a small Borders Book store
I as amazed how many books were on display that were new, and caught my interest.
Lots of them on the wacky Bush administration
Remember how I said Bush was a "puppet"?? Well I saw the book that I got that information from for the first time - it's called "Bush's Brain" I believe. Check it out
I heard an interview with the Author on ?Democracy Now? - that's really where I got the information - never seen the book before.
There was also a nice little book I saw made by MoveOn.org . Cover price, just under $11. [< $9 on Amazon.com, $6.50 on Half.com] Good text to give America?s youth ? MoveOn's 50 Ways to Love Your Country: How to Find Your Political Voice and Become a Catalyst for Change
Shows you ways you can make a difference in this country - encourage change without letting the brainwashed accuse you of being a traitor or unpatriotic or some crap.
ech
I'm personally sick of all the "LEFT" and "RIGHT" crap I keep hearing.
don't people still have consciences?
Can?t they trust their own beliefs and faiths, and the Word of God for guidance, and quit taking sides and chopping at their brothers and sisters?
geze!
No one knows how to listen to opposing views without looking for a weak spot to attack with a crowbar!
Yeah, I'm guilty too.
well I'm wrong - I'm referring to people who actually CARE about things.
There are plenty of people who don?t care, and think all is good or it doesn?t matter to them - that's another story
I'm talking about people with passion for something
It?s ok to be passionate about something, and admit being wrong!
ok this isn?t coming out the way I hoped.
There are absolutes in this world (and beyond)
most ....or at least many Americans have dismissed them as "true for you" or "true for me"
This is total crap, cuz
ooops - time to hop on the plane!
....
....hmm - I think they overbooked this flight
oh good - it looks like everyone fits!
this flight was actually scheduled for like 3pm. mine was scheduled for round 7:30pm so now we're together @ 10:02pm
well I'm pretty sure this PDA is one of those un-permitted electronics that ya aint supposed to use during flight, so I'll head out for now!
Catch Ya later! =)
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hmm -apparently this crew aint allowed to take off past 10 pm. they "did their best" to get us out before 10, but now it's too late
so we're being towed back to the terminal right now
they started "de-icing" the plane -lt looked like hot soapy water being shot over this .
whatever
apparently it's like an overtime issue or sumthing
hmmm
should I hang out in the airport overnight or head home?
Maybe I can get my haircut at the airport??
heh heh
people are dialing on their cell phones now to rebook their flights
guess I should do the same, but I aint yet.
they can WAIT!
heh heh11:20pm
=) Well good thing I kept them waiting!
the people who rescheduled their flight missed out on the auto-reschedule of the flight to 8:05AM -now they have to try to re-re-re-schedule to the 8:05am flight they woulda been re-scheduled for anyway
so the terminals are shut now -no one's allowed back in till the card reading dude gets back in the morning.
a few homeless people are here now soliciting. One dude asked me for sumthin, but I didn?t hear his mumbling clearly. But I did catch the word "food?, so I offered him the bag of dried fruits I just bought and he said "No.,, MONEY FOR food!? heh heh
sad but true.
brr - gettin chilly here - lemme try upstairs....hmm - should that white stuff be on the wings?
Coool - just found one of those carts people pay a few bucks to rent!
Just drove it chris-crossing the practice track of cones where people check in (the "rope stands")
now I?m at a pit stop.
What's interesting is it's when I'm having fun that I realize I'm lonely
wishing to share it with someone
the experience
the joy
Same thing happened when I was at the Qoncert last Thursday Knight. By the 3rd act I was gettin totally into the music, and feeling a release - in a good way, and I let go of certain inhibitions and just LIVED as I absorbed the Life given off by the Artists there through their Musical energy
But the WHAMO! There I was in my own little world...with many around me - many I consider ?friends"
but I felt alone. No connections, and I longed for it.
Perhaps someone to head-bang with? Perhaps eve??????..
crap - ?????..Ok- I just had to change the batteries ? the power kept going off while I was typing away? I kept typing cuz I didn?t know the power was going off cuz the screen doesn?t work!
I don?t even know what didn?t get saved of my typing!! Well I don?t think u missed too much ?
as I was saying?
At the Qoncert I began to LIVE to the fullest for some moments
using my energy, and Life given off through the music of the artists there and then I felt Lonely as I YERNED to share that experience with another person
despite the room having dozens of people also enjoying the music with me
despite some of those dozens being people I consider FRIENDS
Maybe it's not just my yearning for a girlfriend
perhaps it's simply a realization of my needing to simply BE with someone - just someone close - to headbang together - or perhaps even DANCE!???
I've never danced with anyone.
I was invited at least by one person but I turned her down. (at another party) even though I wanted to. (depending on the song)
I always bug out to music & sometimes get a "groove on?? and have danced (perhaps not the proper term) among other people - or in sight of other people a FEW times - and it 's such a release
Notice the times I use the word "Release"
I guess that means I got a lot of stuff in me that needs releasing cuz when I use that word I FEEL good!
(Just got the urge to start singing Peal Jam's "Release Me"
HMMMMMM
So last....no 2 weeks ago I went with my brother and about 15,000 others to Oklahoma City. (Man, what a dinky airport!) and one of the fist things we did was take a tour bus to Ada, Oklahoma to see the new headquarters of Pre-aid Legal Services Inc. WOW o what a beautiful place! Not bad for $30,000,000.00 or so. I heard rumor that it's the largest structure in Ada, and the largest employer too (about 600 I believe0. My brother & I took a ton of pictures using dad's digital camera. My favourite is simply the four fags flying outside in the wind.
I heard we just missed a small tornado that day....?we? being our tour. One of the other tours apparently witnessed it.
Is that where the Wizard of Oz started?
My favorite feature about the "campus" was that there was natural lighting everywhere. Even in the cubicles! People stuck near the center of the complex also get a great view thanks to a courtyard in the middle. There's a giant "Lady of Justice" statue (bronze?) there and bushes and stuff.
That's gonna look MUCH better when the plants grow in! Right now the plants are little green spots on the ground. Hopefully I?ll get to see it again next year.
Hopefully we can sneak my dad's camera out of the house again next year!.
umm...thanks dad! heh heh
oh yeah - the convention was awesome too! Usually it's a BAD thing when 5 Attorney Generals show up at your company meeting. heh heh But these dudes were giving us words of encouragement on our mission t o make "Justice For All" a reality in North America
My bad - I said 5 showed up - actually only 4 did, b-cuz the dude from NY couldn't make it due to weather.
LOL heh heh - a small woman just drove by in a floor-cleaning machine, and she was having a ball with a grin a mile wide! heh heh
VROOM!!
Glaad to see I'm not the only one enjoying driving around the check-in area!. HA - she just honked at some dude in front of her, then turned and smiled at me!
she isn?t as short as I thought when I saw her on the first pass. But she does look funny seated 4 feet off the ground driving around at 6mph.
Where was I?
oh yeah - I think his name is Eliot Spitzer or sumthin - he called in and they put his phone call on the PA system @ the convention. Don't want to mess with that dude!
VROOM! there she goes again! Who woulda thought cleaning floors could be so fun??
well maybe it aint 6mph perhaps 4? unless she just slowed down?
And I thought my night crew job was cool.
...never mind - no her job sucks - she?s moping now. Well I'm sure that can be fun too...if U want it to be.
I wonder if the cleanup crew takes turns driving the machine
perhaps they place bets, draw straws or sumthin. Is it a privilege for the employee of the month? heh heh
So why am I heading to Illinois?
I'm about to EXPERRIENCE the "Advanced Seminar" of "Pathways to a Better World" (Formerly Known as, "Pathways to Successful Living", and most commonly referred to as "Pathways") which unfortunately is not held in Newark where I EPERIENCED their "Basic seminar"
Basic in itself is a life changing experience for most who attend. It's definitely made a strong positive impact in my life! but I hear Advanced is where the major work gets done! Basic is like a prep or sumthin...not to belittle it, just thre's so much more.
I'll have to find out for myself. Hope I can handle this & get out of it what I need to!
I didn?t do my homework! I was supposed to read a lil? book, keep a journal, and set some goals etc.
Nothing hard - just you know how I am about gettin stuff done, right?
What is Pathways? Well the way I attempt to describe it in one sentence is an EXPERIENCE that teaches us what human nature is really about, and how to make the best of it. That aint a fair description. My bro describes it as it helps you do the things you do well better, and the things you don?t do well better.
Ok - that's not how he describes it - but sumthin like that.
better yet, I HIGHLY recommend EVERYONE who POSIBLY can go through the basic seminar to DO IT! and find out for yourself! Till then they have interest meeting type things once in a while and a website you can read stuff at http://www.PathwaysSeminars.com.
Well this has been a nice little conversation but I better get to my homework or take a nap or sumthin
eh - it's only 1:23am - too early for a nap.
guess that means homework!
joy!
lata!!!!
Currently Listening to: Pearl Jam's "Release"
Currently Reading: MoveOn's 50 Ways to Love Your Country...
Currently Watching:
Currently Feeling: patietly waiting
3 insights Xpresed
