Entries for May, 2004
May 20, 2004 , 08:16 PMPumpkinSeed
Currently Listening to:
Currently Reading:
Currently Watching:
Currently Feeling:
9 insights Xpresed
May 21, 2004 , 12:28 AM
PumpkinSeed
hmm - this is interesting.
I'm at the "Forum" diner right now @ 2:08 am
and the joint keeps filling up with people...mostly men who umm fit the stereotypes of gay dudes.
I never seen the Coach House get this much business, and it's only like a half mile away.
Must be over 35 here. a half ?.
I'd continue my sentence if my screen worked
but nope, not yet.
been bidding on a new Psion n Bay, but haven?t won one yet.
Willing to spend under $300 for a Psion Series 7 or NetBook. Those have better specs in every way, but physically only slightly larger than this one I'm using now. Pretty amazing since the screen is twice as tall & colour!.
blah blah blah
Hey Sweeny! Good reading from ya!
I owe ya a real letter! Been long enough, ey?
Glad ya enjoyed the journal! Here's some more for ya! (;
So yeah, I've just accepted to work for Rebecca, doing Transcribing, and stuff. Sounds nice! Good pay, super-flexible hours, and lotsa work available. Also looking to get an internship starting in like 2 weeks. Haven't done much research on that, or decided exactly what I want. It has to be something in the Hospitality industry. (remember that journal entry?) Well I decided to go through with it. It?ll be a nice growing experience. I'm gonna pick something where I have to interact with humans pretty consistently. I've lived my whole life doing everything on my own for the most part. Time to learn something different.
Supposedly one of the best things for me may be to wait on tables in a busy place.
I find that scarey. [editors note: ?scarey? is actually a correct spelling despite MS Word?s RED underlining!?. adj : so scary as to cause chills and shudders; "the most terrible and shuddery...tales of murder and revenge"]
Crap! I don?t know what I was writing about last.
Now it looks like 50 people in here.
The food here is a little overpriced......or rather I'm a little under-funded to eat here much.
I like Coach House's more cozy feel, and less busyness....and lower pries.
Well so far in my ventures, I came across a flyer for a buncha openings in the 2 hotels on Rutherford Ave...so I went to visit, to check the place out. Super boring f U ask me.
or if you dont ask me
lol Hey it's my journal! I'm the one asking the questions!
heh heh
The other thing I came across that was interesting was on http://BigAppleHead.com (thanx Hardy). It was a job where I'd be a leader (3 leaders for 10 non-leaders) of a group of mentally handicapped adults , as we travel across the United States. Sounds challenging! Pays good tho: $25 per day!!!! =)
?less than a fourth of what I been makin @ stop& shop for a Saturday overnight.
I know I'd grow a lot doing it though.
So yeah - why?d I quit? Well for starters I'd been working Saturday nights, which meant I'd be awake and on time to help setup @ church on Sunday morning @ 8:15am, but it also meant sleeping "on the job" and through the sermons, and stuff. It also meant being dangerously overtired into the afternoon and evening. It meat I'd sleep through all my Sunday night leadership calls for my business. It meant I?d never be awake to attend a Sunday night service if I decided I wanted to go.
But yes I could have simply changed to working a different night. And 2 weeks go or so, I did.
This Friday night I worked. The previous Friday I was supposed to work but hung out with my WFDQ friends instead, till round 3am.
Blah blah blah
That night was pretty cool. I love just hangin with friends...yet I barely do it.....well I'm doing it more now.
Last Wednesday, around 3:30am, I was awoken by 2 public safety dudes. The one was kicking the couch I was sleeping on, and tellin me to take the jacket from over my head. Apparently they weren?t cool with the idea of a commuter using the commuter lounge past when it's locked up. I'm glad I got the sleep. I'd e a dangerous driver without it!
They were polite & professional about it...even wrote down my license number or sumtin. What I didn?t get tho, while I was leaving, the dude asked me if I was with Gourmet Dining Services. This is after showing my student ID and all. My guess is that he saw me wearing a "ball cap" and in his mid , G.D.S. employees wear ball caps, so ball cap wearers must be G.D.S. employees!heh heh
after eating a HUGE breakfast @ the Coach House (almost $14!), I was off to FDU for or field trip!! The Hotel Society let us tour 4 Country Clubs! It was surprisingly interesting, and educational, and somewhat fun! I think I was the only person taking notes. Apparently, it's pretty special that we were able to get these tours...For the most part these places are pretty locked down like private property, in that the people who pay their dues, essentially own the place and want100%of the workers attention, and usage of the facilities. Imagine 20 college kids touring your home or apartment without your permission...the tour led by your butler. That's sorta what we did.
blah blah blah
Yesterday was great!...well Sunday...We had the 3 congregations that meet at our church building to have a combined service...and banquet! We got to hear Espanol, Korean, and English., AKA ?American? languages, with and without translations. There was worship, dance, preachin, choirs, a scene from Schindler's List, etc.
blah blah
What really mattered was the message to us. There's a world full of billions of people, and our job is to share our gift of salvation with them. Where can we possibly begin??? There?s so many!!! They?re all over the place!!
Begin with our neighbors.
That?s were I've been a slacker for MANY years. My thought process is to get rich to support people sharing the gospel....so I?ll feel ok for not sharing the gospel myself!
heh heh - I jus dozed off there and the waitress just woke me up.
Now the manager dude said they're closing in 5 minutes
Prolly the last time I eat here.
Oh well.
so yeah, why do I keep saying Blah blah blah???
Coz I feel like I'm typing stuff.
stuf , that may be cool, and good and all
just not the things that really matter. fluff of life.
yay
yes, there's more! much more inside me waitin to be written!
Catch ya's soon!
Gotta head outtta here!
lata!
Luv ya's!
<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>>
2004-05-07 Friday
So yesterday I was in Jeepers w. Charles, Mark & Gretchen?
and I saw a dude from Gourmet Dining Services...and he was wearing a hat...one that looked almost like mine.
so the public safety dude DID have good reason to ask me if I was one of them.
I guess G.D.S. finally got good looking hats! No more of those ugly maroon hats. Good for them!
Well I just pulled another overnighter.
this time in the car - parking lot @ the Coach House.
In fact I'm still in the car now (9:34am)
man I'm glad I don?t have to drive @ rush hour! (usually)
Just sitting here watching, is annoying enough.
aint too bad now that it's past 9.
Well I wanna write more, but got more important things to do...well actually maybe not more important, but things with deadlines!
lata!
Seed
Currently Listening to: The Smiths' "How Soon is Now?" (covered by Tatu)
Currently Reading: Mark 3 Yay! I'm finally getting this Jesus dude!
Currently Watching:
Currently Feeling: like I'm not alone.
Whadduya feelin?
May 21, 2004 , 01:05 AM
PumpkinSeed
How can I say "You go about things the wrong way!"??
You are human,
and you need to be loved...
...Just like I do.
See I've already waited too long!
See...
I am the son, and the heir of a shyness that is criminally vulgar.
There's a radio club that I like to go!
I could meet somebody who really loves me!! =)
So I go,... and I stand on my own...
and I leave on my own.
and I go home, and I wish...
and I want to SING
When I say it's gonna happen "now"
well, when exactly do I mean?
see I've already waited too long.
And now....
And now my hope is STONG!!!!
See, I've already waited too long, and now...
Now I'm done waiting!
NOW it's my turn to be seen.
...to be heard.
...to feel loved.
...to Give Love.
...to be hated?
to feel.
to be.
to give.
to recieve.
to decide.
to take responsibility.
to love.
To Live.
Currently Listening to: do I really have to answer this?
Currently Reading: "To Live" by Yu Hua
Currently Watching:
Currently Feeling: free
Whadduya feelin?
May 24, 2004 , 02:01 AM
PumpkinSeed
Almost just leaned foward into this desk & keyboard as I fell asleep (again)here, at rebecca's house.
perhaps it's time I head home fora a shower and a nap?
I just spent quite a few hours reading & commenting on various blogs: theo, gwetch, and some "strangers" across tabulas.
A great experience - give it a try.
Go to http://tabulas.com, and click someone's name! See what they have to say to you, that no one you know could possibly tell you.
more later - when I'm concious!
Luv y'all!!
~Andrew Jacob Sahagian
Currently Listening to: "This is Your House"
Currently Reading: tabulas.com
Currently Watching:
Currently Feeling: super sleepy & loving |-)
3 insights Xpresed
May 25, 2004 , 04:56 PM
PumpkinSeed
My inner child is sixteen years old!
Life's not fair! It's never been fair, but while
adults might just accept that, I know
something's gotta change. And it's gonna
change, just as soon as I become an adult and
get some power of my own.
How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla
eek! I was afraid of that - 16? Way too old for an inner child! Gotta work on that and re-take the test in a few months!
Currently Listening to: Gloria Estefan's "Coming Out of the Dark"
Currently Reading: http://Tabulas.com/~YOUR_NAME_HERE
Currently Watching:
Currently Feeling: too uptight!!
1 insights Xpresed
May 25, 2004 , 09:04 PM favorite
PumpkinSeed
> I'd love to see you push yourself to be "real" with those around
> you too because, the world will be better for it!
=)
Thank you -
yes - key phrase: "with those around you" So hard! So freakin hard! BLAH!
HARD WORK - BIG BIG REWARD.
:-|
BLAH!
Gotta stop telling myself I have to wait till my parents go to Pathways till It's safe to show me.
I still don't belive it's safe.
Gotta keep a vision of the goal!!! (!!!)
DON'T BE ATTACHED TO THE OUTCOME.
BE ATTACHED TO THE POSSIBILITIES!!!!!!!!
..is what ~~SNIP~~ taught me.
=)
Trying to live that. In all I do. Business, relationships, evangelizing, etc.
The other thing I wanted to share is, you may recall I consider myself an ex-Pharisee. Well I've been hearing some EXCELENT preaching lately to help me.
One of the things I heard was how too often christians try to be the message, and not the messenger of the message...the good news...Jesus!!
...try to "live a christan example". All my life I've been told what "real" christians do and don't do - how they look, and dress, and react, and talk, and pray, and sing, and raise their hands, and all this other stuff.....that doesn't make them a christian!!!!!
Talk about a foundation for being judgemental!
All my life I believed that if I just live a perfect enough life, someone will see me, be impressed, and become a christian too!!
22 years later, I still think that way! What a nice excuse for not having to talk to people about Christ! Or express love! They'll see I'm a loving person, so I don't have to express it!
GOOD GRIEF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(hmm - I think I'm being "real" now!! COOL!!)
We gotta love people - everyone - accept love: God's love...our own love....our neighbor...OURSELF!
More and more I see how everything is really TRUELY linked to LOVE or FEAR - It's becoming so real to me. I see no other logic the more I deduce things - really evaluate them.
:::BREATHE:::
=)
~~SNIP~~
TRUST GOD! ~~SNIP~~
My brother said, "I trust God." I smiled.
Monday through Wednesday that week, we had been working at our church's Vacation Bible School. The theme, and most shouted phrase (a hundred times a day or so):
Too bad it took me till March 2004 to start doing that in many areas.
I think I had a great faith in God, with very little trust. Interesting.
I still got a ways to go.
What if....
What if I copied this email to my online journal (removing confidential\personal stuff)
hmm
hmm.
being open, honest, passionate, and heart-felt....in public?????
hmm.
that might be....something different!
(:
hmm.
By His grace,
~LuvSeed
Currently Listening to: U2's "ONE", sung by...ME!! :sing:
Currently Reading: PumpkinSeed@Juno.com 'Sent' Folder
Currently Watching:
Currently Feeling: vounerable! :heart:
Whadduya feelin?
May 26, 2004 , 10:46 PM
PumpkinSeed
What Pattern Are You?
Which Grunge Band Are You?
Linked to these from Squee's Site
Currently Listening to: PPL Power Training CD's
Currently Reading: well I just saw The Return of the King
Currently Watching:
Currently Feeling: open
5 insights Xpresed
May 27, 2004 , 10:43 AM stickied
PumpkinSeed
*HUGS* TOTAL!!!
give PumpkinSeed more *HUGS*
Get hugs of your own (2004-08-12)
Hey ya'll! By now ya know I can type! That's Grrreat!!...but that's not all!
Here's where I link ya to my other creations, and where I'd like you to leave any comments about them. Please mention which you are commenting on!
Pumpkin Seed's Performances. This is where my Audio & Visual Performances will be available.
(2004-05-27)
YEY!!! I finally updated some things here!�¤ 3 tunez are now FINALLY upgraded to v.2.0! (they sound better, & download faster)
�¤ 1 previously unreleased MP3 now available!
�¤ Just added my 1st MIDI tune! (Now you can have a reallllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllly long ring tone!)
�¤ re-organized the page
�¤ added part of the story behind, "One".
(2005-04-15)
PumpkinSeed PhotoBucket!! Besides the Tabuas Gallery, here is where I post images of my Visual Art, Photography, funny stuff, additional Tabulas images, etc. The mighty Photobucket hosts 1 Gigabyte of images & videos for FREE! That's room for about 10,000 videos and images!!
(2004-05-27)
Just Finished Painting My New Bedroom Click for the pix!
(2004-07-28)
This entry will be modified as things get added.
Currently Listening to: Madonna-Express Yourself Ultimix!
Currently Reading: :philChoi: Gilgamesh Comic #5 WHO DA MAN????
Currently Watching: Sara McLaughlin - In the Arms of the O:-)
Currently Feeling: Public Domainy
21 insights Xpresed
May 31, 2004 , 02:19 AM
PumpkinSeed
I read 1 - yes 1 (or was it 2?) posting and added her to my favourites - since then I've read 3 more - just discover her for yourself.
Try starting with:
Autumn_Star's "can't help it"Mad props to Autumn_Star!!!
Thanks for sharing!!
I'm feelin it!
~LuvSeed
Currently Listening to: Alanis Morissette,"You Owe Me Nothing In Return"
Currently Reading: http://www.tabulas.com/~Autumn_Star
Currently Watching:
Currently Feeling: accepted
2 insights Xpresed
