PumpkinSeed
11:20pm
hmm...
sittin outside the S.U.B. @ FDU.
just spent some time listening to some mp3's:
Pearl Jam - Man Of The Hour.mp3
Joel Hanson & Sara Groves - Traveling Light.mp3
John Denver (1984) - Greatest hits -#3 - 09 - I want to live.mp3
Billy Joel - Honesty.mp3
each song in my PDA means something to me...well all but the 2 i'm not familiar with, and would like to be, so that's why I'm traveling with them.
I ONLY have 37 songs in here. Most have been in here soon after I first got my PDA...even had some on the storage card a month before I had the PDA to plug it into!
...I gotta stop calling my Netbook Pro a "PDA" - how rude of me!
heh heh - my friend, Brenda calls it "Andrew's second brain". She was shocked to see today that my brain "evolved" (from the Psion 5mx I used to carry around)
before that I did some phone calls - called 9 people...got 7 voicemails, 1 conversation of 48 minutes, and 1 "I'll call you right back". Woulda made more calls if my calling plan to Canada didn't suck.
I had been journaling some in my Intuition Journal before making those calls, and wrote:
get to share with others more
....again.
I find it good to journal to me...almost necesary....but even better to talk with friends. Get outta my head, and be out there with those whom I love, and those who love me.
That Billy Joel song really hit me...
Don't be too concerned
I won't ask for nothin' while I'm gone
But when I want sincerity
Tell me where else can I turn
Because you're the one that I depend upon
I mean how cool is that be to have people be sinsere with me...bold...honest with me.
I'm fortunate to have some friends who are. My best friend, Hardy comes to mind. I'm so fortunate to have him as a friend - the more I get to know him, the more I appreciate him, and feel blessed. Dude isn't afriad to get in my face, and call me out on my crap, and challenge me to be a mightier Seed. I've told him once before...he's not just my friend...he's my mentor too!
What's the saying??? Something like friends are there for you, but a mentor challenges you?
I dono - but U get the idea.
The way I see it, it's love lived out. Yeah, I can love you, and watch you suffer, and sympathize, and "be there for you"...or I can love you, and call you out, challenge you, and encourage you to make changes to get outta your suffering!
blech - these bugs are freakin me out
I use the word "suffering". There are plenty of other words that could be exchanged for in the above paragraph.
I guess - they could be summarized in the phrase "not getting what you REALLY want out of life"
I want to be that kind of person.... the kind of person who won't settle for 2nd best from their loved ones....the kind of person who some people don't like because they don't like the truth...are afraid of change...or the sacrifices they might need to make to be truely happy.
YAWN feelin sleepy - dozed off there for a second. It's only 12:13am!
GOOD MORNING!!earlier I was listening to:
Sara Groves - Conversations - 04 - Hello Lord.mp3
Live - Secret Samadhi - 05 - Ghost.mp3
I love singing "Ghost" - what a cool song!
Everybody has a Ghost who sings like you do......I need a need a woman to help me feel!
"Hello Lord" is a song I've sang a lot too...in fact it was one of 2 songs stuck in my mind, that I kept singing while @ Pathways Advanced Seminar in March, 2003.
and I was wondering if you could speak up.
I know that you tore the veil so I could sit with you in person
and hear what you're saying
but Right now....I think you're wispering.
Sara Groves is amazing.
The 2nd song stuck in my head During PW Advanced was "How Soon is Now" by The Smiths.
how can you say
I go about things the wrong way
I am human and I need to be loved
just like everybody else does
this morning I listened to:
Sara Groves - Conversations - 07 - How Is It Between Us.mp3
Sara Groves - Conversations - 09 - Cave of Adullum.mp3
those songs brought me some encouragement to take on more of my responsibilities.
and last night listened to:
WFDQ-2004-04-23-DJ Dov & DJ Pumpkin Seed - One (U2 Cover).mp3
When I listened to this....I realized I haven't been singing as much as I would like to. I listened to it a second time, and thought - "hey - not bad."
usually when I've heard it, or thought about it, I tend to be critical of me for my mistakes. I think that was the first time I really enjoyed listening to it. NOT BAD AT ALL.
Me sleepy - feel like sleeping on this bench. Wonder if the Public Safety officers would send me away.....again. heh heh
need pillow - this bench is hard.
well....hmm - I want you to call me out - call me out on my crap -
Let me know where I'm not being my best.
Let me know when I'm not making sence, or being confusing.
Let me know when I'm goofing off or avoiding my responsibilities in any other way.
Let me know what you think of me.
Let me know when you're freaked out by something I did or said.
Let me know if you think I'm doing something unhealthy.
Let me know if you see me hiding....looking for my shell to cover me up again.
Let me know when you're dissapointed in me, or know I'm not giving all I can.
Let me know if you think I'm not being genuine.
Let me know when I'm not being loving, respecting, or accepting of people...or myself.
Let me know when I'm not being humble.
Ask me what I'm feeling.
Let me know what you feel about me....
Let me know what you feel for me.
Let me know that you love me too, and want me to succede as well.
I challenge you to challenge me.
~Seed
Diana Ross - I'm Coming Out.mp3 Currently Listening to: hmm - nope - no songs today!
Currently Reading: ho-hum
Currently Watching:
Currently Feeling:
Whadduya feelin?
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