PumpkinSeed
All the lonely people.
Where do they all belong?
You may say that I’m a dreamer.
I’m not the only one.
He's alive, but feels nothing, so is he?
------
“Look at her! Look at her!!!”
you look.
though you don’t want to
fou feel forced...but you weren’t.
She lyes and says she still loves in him
Can’t find a better man???
She lyes.
They lay.
They lie to themselves.
“I’m alone.” “I can’t help myself.”
I can’t...............
--
They say they will.
They know they will...they’ve seen it a hudred times.
-----
They lay.
is it love?
He knows it is.... love mixed with fear. Unfounded fear.
happier in the unknown....where they’re not responsible for being alone.
they blame themselves a little..but not fully - they won’t take it all.
they couldn’t bear that. Won’t let themselves go through that pain....after all, they love themselves!
......right??
alone. Listless.
There’s a comfort. They found their comfort. Their sanity.
their love, and pitty for each other.
It was created. Subconsiosly.
but very deliberately.
Tell me WHY! Why, God, I feel this way?”
He likes it.
Round here we talk like lions
but we sacrifice like lambs
She says it’s only in my head.
She says “I know, it’s only in my head”
He breathes....deeply...trying to wash it away.
clear himself.
cleanse himself
find himself
herospycodreamer
“No one understands me!” “no one ever has”
He learns otherwise.
He never was alone.
He’s been spotted!!!
He feels.
He believes.
I see you.
a faith stirs up....
faith, hope, and love.
and all of a sudden....
there’s a new way out!
HA!
leaving the one he loves for the comfort of the one who sees.
Ahh yes - there had to be an easy way out! Let me stay stay stay for a while. You don’t mind if I stay, do you?
Of corse she doesn’t!
Misery loves company.
Frustrated Inc.
It’s real. It’s good.
It sure feels nice.
and he wonders
It aint so bad being alone when you’re not alone.
2 lost souls swimming in a fish bowl...
...
Don’t talk...Don’t talk to me about being alone!
The dreams shift...
...forgetting about his love
Out of sight, out of heart???
taking pleasure in their pain???
no
loving.
happy to be loved.
to feel cared for.
make it last.
let us stay here........
drifting...
drifting...
and they drift off to sleep....dream some more.
one dreams of 2
and one dreams of another.......or so he rationalized.
...and he makes himself believe he’s not the one...never was and never could be...and that he never really wanted to be...
but he enjoyed the dream.
a harmless dream.
?
yes yes - just a resting place. A place to get away...a time to clear out the head...
that's all it was.
He awakens.
sees her....remembers...feels for her again.
and he sees her too! remembers her too!...and once again the fire kindles.
This time with new perspective...not blinded by the light.
Stronger than before, he arises. With a mended heart. a bigger heart. A heart that’s been through some excersize.
He is greatful. For this time, he has more than his heart.
The love is purer than before...free of the distractions of the past. The judements & assumtions.
and it still kindles strong after a small test of time.
he begins to dream
dream up a new self for himself............
__________________________________
notes:
Written:
2004-08-03, Tuezdey
8:25am
2004-08-05, Thursday
6:55am
& Final Edits:
2004-08-23, Monday
2pm
2004-08-25, Wednesday
4pm
I think in music. This entry includes lyrics & a title from the following:
Dave Mathews Band - ?Stay For A While?
Pearl Jam - I'm Open
Pearl Jam - Daughter
Live - Heropsycodreamer
Pink Floyd - ?Wish You Were Here?
The Beatles - Elanore Rigby
John Lennon - Imagine
Soul Asylum - Frustrated Inc.
?Journey? - ?Blinded By The Light?
?Radiohead? ?The Verve? - ?Wash it Away?
Counting Crows - Round Here
REM - ?Don't Talk To Me?
?The Four Tops? - ?Can't Help Myself?
Collective Soul - Why? Pt.2
The story lives on...
Currently Listening to:
Currently Reading:
Currently Watching:
Currently Feeling: ...to be continued...
Whadduya feelin?
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