PumpkinSeed.tk ~ Where usta abounds

September 16, 2004 , 07:23 PM

PumpkinSeed

Charity How do you live love for the one who's not yours?

I did the part I was afraid to do for so long....I spoke.

now what?

true love is selfless...and all I REALLY want is what's best for her....but then there's that something else.

Yeah - there's love....but then there's longing too. longing isn't love. It can enhance love...keep love strong, and people together....but right now I'm letting it create distance. Longing for the one I love is stopping me from living my love.

argh!

She's not mine. Deep down, that's ok with me.

I respect her...them. I won't get in the way of anything, or be self imposing. But I can still love.

I refuse to live with passive love anymore. I have so much I want to give to her...........to them, if that's what it becomes.

It's just the next fear...anxiety to battle. The NEW set of "what if's".

All it comes down to is I don't want to hurt her....them. And I know I don't have to go away. That's not necesary.

I will not hide again.

I want to be a true friend.

I am a true friend.

I will love.

I will....

Ang pag-ibig....

Charity.

Currently Listening to: Pearl Jam - Love Boat Captain
Currently Reading: 1 Corinthians 13 (KJV)
Currently Watching:
Currently Feeling: PAIN: for her stmach ache
8 insights Xpresed

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remedy

Comment posted on September 17th, 2004 at 01:54 PM

Your loving from a distance...that has to be confuzzling Seed.

Ah, funny story tho, last weekend I was driving past a pumkin field and this one pumpkin called out to me...so, I stopped and stole it from the field. Ah, my fun weekend of pumpkin stealing. Your screen name made me think of it. =)

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PumpkinSeed

Comment posted on September 17th, 2004 at 08:21 PM

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Autumn_Star

Comment posted on September 17th, 2004 at 08:53 AM

Ang pag-ibig

sana nandito ka na lang sa tabi ko
sana kasama kita ngayon
sana naririnig mo ako
sana maramdaman mo ako
pero malayo sa katotohan ang lahat
malayo tayo sa isa't isa
paalam na
sana'y alam mo...
ang puso'y maghihintay
alang-alang sayo

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PumpkinSeed

Comment posted on October 1st, 2004 at 05:41 PM

It's real

Tho I'm not, I am.
I know now, you've never left.
I'm begining to.
Where you reside, I can't help but to.
I now rejoice only in the truth.

I pray that you...
wait no more
fully accept what I can give.
and find what I can't.

O:-)

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PumpkinSeed

Comment posted on September 17th, 2004 at 08:31 PM

I long to know your every thought and feeling.

I feel...so close but so far.

but more than that, I feel HUMBLED that you have graced my pages with your words...even if I can't understand them.

O:-)

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PumpkinSeed

Comment posted on September 17th, 2004 at 07:15 AM

charity envieth not

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ghost_tree (guest)

Comment posted on September 16th, 2004 at 09:59 PM

Our posts are so different.... I guess that's why we're conflicting on my last one before.

Hope all gets better!

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PumpkinSeed

Comment posted on September 17th, 2004 at 12:24 AM

"conflicting"? hmm - surely differnt perspectives...

I wasn't feeling "conflict" tho.

hmm..

thanx - it'll all get betta the more I'm "out there".