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Seed's currently feeling

Like a love without devotion, like a cloud without the rain; Like a heart without emotion, like a wound without the pain. Like a prayer without an answer, like a bird without a song; Like a hope without a future, like a night without the dawn. Without You, I am nothing; I am nothing without You; Only You can make something out of nothing; I am nothing without You. ~PAUL & RITA BALOCHE

October 12, 2004 , 02:19 PM

PumpkinSeed

I'm scared. for the 1st time in my life...I'm finantiall scared.

my credit union savings is just the $50 to keep it open.
My checking is in overdraft loan (which can only go up to $100)

I got about $26,000 in credit card debt.

my credit cards are set to auto-pay from my checking...so in a week or 2, they're gonna dip in the well and see it's dry.

my new J.O.B. only wants me to work 3 nights a week. (I'd say about $120 a week?), but they're so confused there, I wonder if it'll be a month till my 1st pay (besides tips) They better not send any $ to the gubment for taxes - I'll be due to get it all back anyway when I file.

no-one is signing up for the memberships on my business' websites.

I don't even know what happens when my checking account is atempted to be overdrawn repeatedly.

I think I'm skipping the "retreat" I planned to go to this weekend cuz I can't write the $8x check for it.

even sadder, I'm thinking, I'm might have to miss the concert next thursday w. PAUL BALOCHE AND SARA GROVES!!!!! $ being one of 3 reasons.

---

but at the same time, their is a freaky peace

cuz I know even if this gets worse than I see it now....it's all temporary

I'm freakin involved with the best business in the world, delivering the most needed services in the contenant, with the best commission structure imaginable.

I know I can earn $$$ if I get my but into gear, and do some transcription work for becca, or fix some PC's that have been waiting about a year.

I have a blind trust my parents will keep me from goin homeless or hungry.

and I know I have an appointment tonight where I just might make $100 or more...or less.

I reciently did some sneaky balance transfer maneuvers that may lead to me getting a "free" $1000 cash advance.

and most importantly...

I'm learning to trust God.

Currently Listening to: Paul Baloche - Falling :boys:
Currently Reading: Mark 16
Currently Watching:
Currently Feeling: a swift kick in the pants
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