PumpkinSeed.tk ~ Where usta abounds

February 25, 2005 , 04:21 PM bla bla bla bla

PumpkinSeed

further down the spiral been a great year.....quit my job late May....it was hard to quit, but I did for the reason that I needed to get out of my comfort zone there to achieve new heights of occupation......
....and I've been out of work since.

Becca was great to let me work for her.......but I wasn't takin it serious.......made just a few hundred bux.....

When I did work from 2000-2004, I spent twice as much as I earned.....but I kept some savings.....used that, and a few balance transfer overpayment "cash advances" to pay my cards till November....But that ran out

now I'm hit

and I'm takin my family down with me.

23 years old.....I know I'm smarter than, and wiser than many of my peers......but.....23 years old....I think more than $31,000 in debt

still my mind freezez when it comes to persuing a job/career, and when it comes to doing the activity for my business.

I only owed less than $3 Grand to F.D.U.....then they slapped on like a $300 late fee, then $839.70 of "collection fees" so now that's over $3.6Grand and it just went into collections.

Just paid off nearly $250 of $30 "insufficient funds" fees in my checkin account for when my 3 credit cards attempted repeated "auto-payments" for 2 months. today I finally got above $0! Now I got a whopping $1.73 Checkin balance!! =) If I didn't do that, it was just about to go into colelctions. I still owe $94 of an overddraft loan!

I've been in collections for many months for 2 medical billz.....

Been using my parent's checking account as a last resort for a little over a month now to keep most of my accounts out of collections

I NEED A JOB.....with a SALARY

I just attended an introductory evening seminar on the "Millionaire Mind", and that addressed some of my thiking towards $ and jobs....I've ALWAYS despised jobs....no wonder I don't have one now! I always saw them as something to keep people down from reaching their potential.

I'm learning to force myself......I mean I'm begining to realize how JOBS are a good thing....a VERY GOOD THING (when needed)

I have $46 available credit on the card I'm using now....which reciently had it's credit limit reduced from like $6,000 to $1,000 cuz of "Balance owed on revolving accounts too high", etc.

Got my FICO credit score of 581 today...I don't know what that means....but I know it's been better.

I know I'm just ranting now....but I'm not complaining......for what we complain about manifests and grows into bigger crap.

I'm not complaning.....I'm just sharing some of my motivating factors for me to accept the reality of my responsibilities.

Yesterday afternoon, my Happy Pillz came in the mail, and they're stinky, so I know they must be REALLY nutricious! =) I Took my 1st 3 capsuls yesterday, and 3 more today. Now I got smelly burps, but I'm glad. They seem really good. I did some more research (googling) last night, and found nothing bad on them. All good reports. YAY SMELLY BURPS!

I look at these pillz as an investment. If they can help me to focus enuff to sell 1 PPL membership a month, they're more than payed for!

bla bla bla

I know I'll be okay, but it sux to hurt myself, and those around me in the meantime. I'm missing out on nice lil things cuz I gotz no $, I'm hurting friendships where I owe them some $, my household is hurt.......

I'm missing out on having fun & meeting people, and being social for things that require $

.......I need to set some some more action steps to get me goin.........

I need......to begin to love through activity, not just words, thoughts, feelings & hugs.

Currently Listening to: Seed's renditions of Steven Chapman's "For Who He Really Is"
Currently Reading: finances.pwd
Currently Watching: the tides turn
Currently Feeling: still a litte too comfy
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