Entries for December, 2005
December 3, 2005 , 02:34 AM Introspections
PumpkinSeed
so much good writing. I've read that many great authors were INFP's
Reading it brings but a tear.
I wrote with passion....I was alive even tho I was living in my head and on tabulas....it's still more alive than i'd been before.
VIDA
I was talking then.
but here I am now - even with a job and interacting and stuff.......I feel like my mouth is stuck shut.........
but if I look closer - I see that i am speaking.
......but not from the heart/soul.
so I feel like my mouth is stuck shut, when it's really my heart.
I don't speak from my soul much anymore. I've returned to thinking before I speak.
and I don't want this entry to be a complaint or a place for me to tear myself down.......a kingdom divided against itself.
I feel like I NEED my next inspiration....
then I see my own words:
I've had hopes and dreams, and beliefs of the future...with no vision.
no vision........................................no passion.
no passion............................no drive
no drive...............no action
no action....no vida.
well I'm living my present with little passion. Sure I have some Action now, but it's not fueled by a vision, but the memory of having a vision.
I know I'm a better seed than I was then....but I stopped sharing. I don't feel that I've caped my heart, but I simply stoped pouring it.
But I'm just mentioning the areas I lack/wish to improve/return.
Dare I skip the positive changes/lifestlye I have?
I've developed a HABBIT of being open/vounerable/listening to, and sharing from the heart, where 2 years ago, that wasn't possible!
so now that I see I'm currently not IN that habbit anymore, I know what i'm missing, BUT.......BUT my cap IS off! I now know my heart and soul and whoever bunks me will get a spill. Every so often someone probes in, or I'll splash out and freely give them something they never expected.
I am a changed man.
just not living with a passion.
I have an appreciation for the real me.
I'm not ashamed of who I am anymore....I just lack the motivation to show it.
My Giliw has given me many gifts...gifts I hold within myself forever.
I no longer need to depend on you to love myself. But I wouldn't have gotten here without your love.
The love that had kept me strong in my time of weakness has strengthened me to finally "Take Care" I'd like to think it's a perminant strengthening it's given me....You've given me.
like tempered Pyrex™ is strong to handle heat because it's been through heat =)
Any glass can break of course and regardless of your jewelry choice, always take care to avoid trauma to your piercing. If your Pyrex does break, it should snap in two rather than shattering like most glasses.
that's good to know! I am still breakable, but i'm shatter proof! It's easier and quicker to mend a break than a shatter!
PS. If U got holes in yer body, be sure to check out TribalGlass.com
Currently Listening to: Sara Groves - Add To The Beauty
Currently Reading: Seed's heart, September 2004
Currently Watching: for Ashley's reply
Currently Feeling: poised
Whadduya feelin?
