Entries for September, 2005
September 5, 2005 , 11:51 PM favorite Ang pag-ibig, inside the outside
PumpkinSeed
"Unsuspecting Friend"
You are always in my heart
and I can't get you out (not that I'd want to get you out)
I don't care that you're married
'cause you're still my friend
I love you past the end.
You're always in my heart
You're always in my heart!
Never let you go
I wanted you to know
Don't be afraid
I'm not here to hurt
I've wanted you by my side
I've learned to let that go
now I'm still here
Don't be afraid
like I am
I don't want to grow cold,
even though I'm in society.
I don't want my heart to go
to it's old state of stone.
My stone breaker is gone,
but still I must stand strong
strong enougth to be weak
and vounerable,
at my core.
'cause only times of hapiness and peace
have come in my life
when I've been at my core
You were my ticket
to my inside out
and now I must live there a way
without you
At least I got the memories
I know what it's like
At least I got my mind
and some partial sanity
No, I won't leave it alone
I can't leave it alone
I can't leave myself
locked inside again
I've been let out.
I don't have you.
Just gotta live
that way all the time
I know I might get hurt.
I know it might be hard.
I know I might get left out.
I know I might get scarred.
I know I can't do it alone
But that's why you're inside me,
to guide me.
You've shown me that what's inside is real
and I'm okay
and I'm acceptable
even when I'm this wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
You helped me find myself
You found my way out.
You helped me when alone
It wasn't so hard with you there.
Felt life
from the inside
'written' orally while playin a Steel Geetar on the synth
2005-08-31<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
"Never Look Back"
I hope he holds you close.
I hope he holds you tight.
I hope he gives you that comfort
you found in me at night
He's more real to you than I could ever be
I don't want you ever
to seek again what you found in me, in me.
Let him be the one
to hold you forever.
Show him you're the one
who'll be there forever.
I pray he loves you more than I ever did.
I pray he finds you,
all that you've ever hid.
Never let go.
Hold on forever.
Never look back
'cuz you know I'll be there
I don't want you to see me.
Just keep flying by.
You need to be there
for the apples of your eye.
Never look back
'cuz you know I'll be there.
Hold them close.
They're waiting for you.
Give yourself,
all of you.
Never look back
'cuz you know I'll be there
Living my life without you
Never look back
'cuz you know I'll be there
Living my life with you on the inside
where I guess you belong
where your love
resides eternal,
holding me strong
Salamat, dear friend
Never look back
But always look up
for ang paig-ibig
Look up, dear friend
For that strength to go on
'written' orally while sitting quietly @ the synth, eyes shut
2005-08-31
Currently Listening to: Pumpkin Seed - 2005-08-31 - Synth Session 1
Currently Reading: MySpace
Currently Watching: in disbelief
Currently Feeling: better......exposed
8 insights Xpresed
September 7, 2005 , 05:10 AM Ang pag-ibig
PumpkinSeed
how just when I think I've dried up inside
one song can get my adam's apple 5x it's normal size, and the tears flow again.
(o:
of course it's not really the song, but a memory.........well more than a memory I suppose.
:')
ingatz
Currently Listening to: Live - Ghost
Currently Reading: comments
Currently Watching: with blurred vision
Currently Feeling: retro-love-eternal
Whadduya feelin?
September 9, 2005 , 10:37 PM bla bla bla bla
PumpkinSeed
yeah, I can do that now.
I feel really glad I can actually do that.
I feel....responsible or sumthin 8-D
Seed's got 2 jobs!
how about that? That must explain where the heck he disapeared to for a month...
t.b.c...
Currently Listening to: my PC's exhaust fans
Currently Reading: Mensa-Barbie's blog
Currently Watching: my stuff reloacate to all over the house
Currently Feeling: Structured
2 insights Xpresed
September 16, 2005 , 01:33 AM Living life :)
PumpkinSeed
would you let this man into your home?
moreso, would you leave your children alone with him?
well apparently people are looking beyond my exterior and trusting me
cool! And I get paid for it too!
I'll have to share about my jobS soon
Currently Listening to: Luther Vandross-Ain't No Stoppin' Us Now & Dance with My Father
Currently Reading: http://mensa-barbie.blogspot.com
Currently Watching: the $ roll in! :-D
Currently Feeling: ustarific
Whadduya feelin?
September 17, 2005 , 08:37 PM Introspections
PumpkinSeed
You are 33% Gemini
You are 27% Taurus
You are 27% Scorpio
You are 40% Libra
You are 7% Aries
You are 47% Aquarius
You are 40% Cancer
You are 67% Virgo
You are 80% Sagittarius
You are 53% Capricorn
You are 27% Leo
You are 73% Pisces
How much do you match your zodiac sign?
okay - I did them all.
why?
cuz I want to know if there's any truth to this idea that my date of conception has anythign to do with the way I think/feel/react/behave.
What sign do you think I am? Then again, you don't see my "other" sides that I show in different arenas, so maybe you couldn't guess the right answer.
I think I'm a taurus or Gemeni. but it seems like Stagitarious is more my sign. I think becca told me I'm an "air" sign. is Stagitarious also an "air"?
and I didn't like the quiz for Pisces becaue it was like the same question phrased 15 different ways. iz there only 1 trait to a pisces person?
I have a friend who's a scorpio AND Libra, and the questions seemed to mostly fit her. So apparently there's some truth to this thing....
but for now I'm sticking with my INFP personality profile to help me sort me out.
why do I spend my time w. these things?
I miss you.
Currently Listening to: Plumb
Currently Reading: quizez
Currently Watching: an IM with Brianna =)
Currently Feeling: curious
4 insights Xpresed
September 24, 2005 , 04:20 PM Living life :)
PumpkinSeed
Apparently I have an "unanswered complaint", which I think means I probably got a leter in the mail in the past week, and I didn't know about it cuz I haven't been looking at my mail lately.
....Where was I on the night of Thursday, September 15th?? Well apparently that was one of the nights I was in Union Twp. I went to a few houses to show Kirby off, but what's the complaint about?? I don't remember! ............. perhaps it's a complaint for my Karaoke performance?????
I thot I did pretty good!
Yeah - I karaokied for the 2nd time last Thursday. I did Lisa Loeb & Nine tories' "Do You Sleep"
and Pearl Jam's "I God Id" 
=)
Well I guess it's time to call my Law Firm again...
sure nice having one!
Currently Listening to: nuttin: the Fugazi CD seems too scuffed to play. Maybe it'll rip
Currently Reading: shouldn't this be Certified Mail w. signiature required??
Currently Watching: out for police occifers
Currently Feeling: curious
2 insights Xpresed
September 24, 2005 , 09:23 PM Introspections
PumpkinSeed
Your Love Style is Pragma |
 You believe love is logical - or at least it should be You've thought a lot about what you want from someone And to say you have a checklist would be an understatement You may even have a plan for how you will fall in love All you've got to do is meet the perfect person! |
The Keys to Your Heart |
 You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when everything is uncertain, one moment heaven... the next moment hell. You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted. |
B- |
 Your senses are pretty sharp (okay, most of the time) And it takes something big to distract you! |
Your Inner Child Is Surprised |
 You see many things through the eyes of a child. Meaning, you're rarely cynical or jaded. You cherish all of the details in life. Easily fascinated, you enjoy experiencing new things. |
Your Kissing Purity Score: 97% Pure |
 You've hardly ever been kissed But the kisses you've given are very missed |
You are a Believer |
 You believe in God and your chosen religion. Whether you're Christian, Muslim, Jewish, or Hindu.. Your convictions are strong and unwavering. You think your religion is the one true way, for everyone. |
Shy and Withdrawn |
 People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive. You're thought of as someone who needs looking after... People see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you're boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren't. |
You Are Chinese Food |
 Exotic yet ordinary. People think they've had enough of you, but they're back for more in an hour. |
Your Blog Should Be Green |
 Your blog is smart and thoughtful - not a lot of fluff. You enjoy a good discussion, especially if it involves picking apart ideas. However, you tend to get easily annoyed by any thoughtless comments in your blog. |
Your Ideal Relationship is Serious Dating |
 You're not ready to go walking down the aisle. But you may be ready in a couple of years. You prefer to date one on one, with a commitment. And while chemistry is important, so is compatibility. |
Your Personality Profile |
 You are elegant, withdrawn, and brilliant. Your mind is a weapon, able to solve any puzzle. You are also great at poking holes in arguments and common beliefs. For you, comfort and calm are very important. You tend to thrive on your own and shrug off most affection. You prefer to protect your emotions and stay strong. |
You Are The Opposite of Machiavellian |
 You don't have a cynical, power hungry bone in your body. Honest and kind, you believe being a good person is the most important thing. While your upstanding morals should be admired, be careful! You're at risk for being manipulated and toyed with. |
Your Blogging Type Is Thoughtful and Considerate |
 You're a well liked, though underrated, blogger. You have a heart of gold, and are likely to blog for a cause. You're a peaceful blogger - no drama for you! A good listener and friend, you tend to leave thoughtful comments for others. |
 | You scored as Disappear. Your death will be by disappearing, probably a camping trip gone wrong or an evening hike you never returned from. Always remeber that one guy who was hiking alone and got in a rock slide. He could have died, but he cut his own hand off to save himself. Don't end up like him (or worse, dead).
How Will You Die?? created with QuizFarm.com |
You are Romans.
Which book of the Bible are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Currently Listening to: Kristian Walker - Simply Worship
Currently Reading: RSS from blogthings.com
Currently Watching: nope
Currently Feeling: resty
Whadduya feelin?
