Entries for April, 2005
April 2, 2005 , 01:02 AM bla bla bla bla
PumpkinSeed
one of my best stir-fry's yet!
in order of when added...
Olive Oil
Minced Garlic
Onion Powder
Slice of Polski Zytni Chleb broken up
Parsley Flakes
Frozen Bean & Cheese Burrito (never thought the word "cheese" would stir up emotions like this)
Frozen Small Scallops
Frozen Brussel Sprouts
Frozen Chopped Broccoli
Frozen Black Sweet Cherries
FIRE!!!
1 Lid
STIR
Frozen Chopped Spinich
FRY
STIR
Lid again
Fry
Stir
more Onion Powder
Stir
Lid again
Fry
Stir
Lid again
Fry
Stir
Lid again
Fry
Stir
More Olive Oil
Stir
1 Large Egg
STIR
Fry
Send some of it into Half of a Whole Wheat Pita...
1 Happy Usta!pardon my bla bla bla entries lately....I'll be back
it sux to type superficial stuff again....but there's a time for this too.
luvin ya's!
~HappyUstaSeed
I guess mine's more of a fry stir than a stir fry?
Currently Listening to: Mark Schultz - Think of Me
Currently Reading: the names on different kinds of roses
Currently Watching: my usta dance
Currently Feeling: ustarific!:bloopie:
Whadduya feelin?
April 2, 2005 , 10:50 AM Introspections
PumpkinSeed
I pray I don't get a job that leads me away from God's will/my purpose
then I remember/realize.....only 2 people are in controll of my future:
God & ME
that's it. not a job - not $, and not even my parents!
I AM IN CONTROL
GOD IS IN CONTROL
I need not worry/fear mistakes, or even being off track....cuz I HAVE THE CONTROL to get back on track, in the right direction when I see where I'm wrong. I AM NOT A VICTIM OF ANYTHING!
I don't get "any job" cuz I see left & right people called of God who are "trapped" at their jobs. I REFUSE TO BE TRAPPED!
but I don't know where to be either.....
but now I know.... I CANNOT BE TRAPPED BY ANY JOB! IT IS IMPOSSIBLE! I ALWAYZ have the option to leave to do what I NEED to do.
I didn't take crap from the people @ Stop&Shop who told me I couldn't set my own scheduel. Well I don't need to take crap from anyone who says I can't set my own job! NO ON HAS AUTHORITY OVER ME! I FEAR NO MAN! I FEAR NOT to "LOOSE MY JOB", because, hell - after 10 months of surviving "comfortably" without one, yeah - I know I don't need any particular job. I know I am very capable to get a job any day I want, and IMMIDATELY! The only reason I haven't: ME.
I've been acting in fear. I've been acting without authority. I KNOW I have great value to ANY organization. I know my tallents, skills, abilities, education, and training. I know God will bless me where I let Him.
I'm wondering around, fearful of whom I will surrender my authority of my life and my time over to. Who is worthy to have authoity over my life? That's the boss I'll choose.
HELL NO! I ALONE HAVE, AND WILL HAVE THAT AUTHORITY!
I may choose to work for someone, and submit humbly before them to get their job/wishes done....but not from authority over me! But from respect, and doing what's right in that circumstance. I WILL NOT FEAR HAVING THE "WRONG" JOB ANYMORE!
I WILL GET ME A JOB VERY SOON! no more of this fearful crap.
I WILL NOT REPEAT THE MISTAKES OF OTHERS: surrendering my purpose to a job. I won't fear that mistake anymore.
I FINALLY spent some time today in prayer over which Job He wants me to get.....well....no answer yet, but I know I need not wait for His answer - I need a job today! And when He answers, God help me, I'm going after it, no matter ____!
God help me.
oh great - now "Good morning George" is playing. HA! no coincidence! "...we work the whole week through to make a buck or two so we can send it home to our families..."
Currently Listening to: Sara Groves-"Remember Surrender" & "Song of Salama.....SOLOMON"
Currently Reading: Intuition2.pwd
Currently Watching: my iRiver SlimX remote's display
Currently Feeling: set
Whadduya feelin?
April 7, 2005 , 09:41 PM bla bla bla bla, inside the outside
PumpkinSeed
heh heh - I think i'm what's known as a "road warrior" - someone who looks for a nice place to sit and use the internet where I can find a wireless network to connect to.
I'll admit, it's kinda dangerous when driving, and pressing the "refresh" button and scrolling through the list to see if there's a new available network.
and of couse I'm freaknig out the whole time as the lights go on and off in the house...worried that they'll see me and feel concerned.
aww - now their dog is lose to take a poop on their wet grass....hope the doggie doesn't start barking @ me...
....I'm sitting back ....really still and quiet....only using my periferial view to see them....
la-dee-dah.
hope the police don't come...the car failed inspection, and dad can get a ticket for me having it out on the road!
la-dee-dah.
phew - their light turned off again....it's 12:42am now...back to work!
luv U!
~CreeperSeeder
Currently Listening to: drops of rain above me
Currently Reading: an e-mail I just sent
Currently Watching: the rain on the windshield & watching out for someone seeing me!
Currently Feeling: :ninja:
2 insights Xpresed
April 11, 2005 , 12:14 PM Observations
PumpkinSeed
2:54pm
Andrew, you should be ___
a Doctor - You wash your hands all the time...
an IT Tech Consultant - You do it already, you should get paid for it, and you'll deal with people...
a Counselor - You're a great listener...
a Teacher - You know a lot, and love to teach others...
a Nutritionist - We need one in this area of New Jersey...
a CDL Driver - You can backdoor yer way into office positions. It'll make you strong, into a man...
a Pastor - You look like one when you wear that suit...
a Youph Counselor - They just need someone who will love them and hold them...
a PC Repair Service Business Owner - You know how to do it, & can hire others to leverage your time...
a Waiter - You'll learn a lot of people skills...
a Stop & Shop clerk - They paid you, and they'll take you back...
a Computer Tutor in the library - People need someone like you to show someone like me how to use these things...
a DJ - WAWZ is hiring, and they don't have any good Rock DJ's!
a Choir member - You sing pretty good, and we only got a few guys up there. we could use you...
a Rock singer - We'll start a band! I'll play the _, and you can sing!...
a Pathways Group Leader - What are you waiting for?...
my honorary band member - I need you to play piano on some songs...
a Masseur - You're really good at it: it comes natural to you...
a Youth Pastor/Leader - You have a heart for it...
a Real Estate Investor - What other way can you make that much $ that quick legally?
a Primerica Personal Financial Analyst - Common! Look at your compensation plan, and look at ours!
a Call Center rep - You'll love it here in the philz...
a Pre-Paid Legal Associate - You can have fun, help people, and make $! You love to help people! This is the perfect business for you...
hmm - yeah - I guess you're right.
Currently Listening to: Nas - I Can
Currently Reading: The Record's "North jersey Jobs"
Currently Watching: the debt pile high
Currently Feeling: special
Whadduya feelin?
April 11, 2005 , 05:04 PM inside the outside, Living life :)
PumpkinSeed
22:13-00:06
Can't you hear them too?
oh - it's in my head, huh?
Just got back from a rock show. For the first time, I went to see the band Steve does drummin in, THE COLDEST SON.
I believe there were 10 bands tonight. Before the 1st one was done, I was already hearing the birds singing to me in my head.
Next time I'll stuff a lil sumthin in my ears. I don't wanna be a wuss, but I need to protect one of my most valuable posessions/gifts. I think I'd rather loose my sight, and limbs instead of my hearing. Perhaps my USTA is more valued to me than my hearing? Perhaps.
Honestly, Steve was one of my 2 fav drummers tonight. He really rocked it with great rythm, and a great solo.
The other great drummer was Foley from STAY BEHIND: this lanky dude, with just awesome rythm.
So through the night, I was forcin myself to:
¤ not hide away or blend in
¤ not shut my eyes when I zone into the music
¤ look at other people, and even make & maintain eye-contact
¤ smile & make small talk w. strangerz
¤ let myself be seen
¤ be myself - the excentric head-banging, foot-stomping, groove filling rocker I am.
all these things are difficult for me, especially with 2 peeps from my church, and my brother are there, but I'm working on eliminating my silly worries....so I can be me.....so I wont be afraid to be seen & heard when I need to be.
The whole night, I was hoping some opportunity would arize where there would be a need for a singer, and I could fill that need for some songs I knew.
dang, I wanna sing.
=========
I was observing that nearly all of the crowd, and many of the band members were teenagers, and noticing the different aspects of the culture, I thought of some of ya's on Tabby that are teens. So this is what it's like to be a teen rocker in 2K5?
then I wondered just how much things have changed since I was in high school? How would I really know anyway, cus I never went to a rock show then!?!?!!!
Then I remembered hangin out with my rocker friends, THE TOKES....wondering whatever happend with all that great tallent??? ...Wishing I had seen them perform a show.
Then I began to notice...yet again, I felt alone. Here I am again, havin fun without my friends. No one to hug or dance with, and I don't have the ballz to make new friends here. Crap.
=========
As I heard quite a few of the singers, I was dissapointed, and encouraged:
Dissapointed in their voice or vocal delivery.
Encouraged that if people enjoy THEIR singing, I have nothing to worry about!
Now, sad to say, this is only the 4th rock show I've been to:
1998: Pearl Jam (& BenHarper) Concert, Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, NJ
2004: Waking and some other bands @ The Mexicali Blues, Teaneck, NJ
2004: Waking, Marwood, etc @ the WFDQ Rock Qoncert, FDU SUB, Teaneck, NJ
2005: The Coldest Son, Break The Silence, etc @ Garfield American Legion, Garfield, NJ
This was the 1st time I wittnessed any moshing & thrashing! It really got me by surprise! I was freaked out where I saw it - Oh my! That looks....dangerous, and it's coming my way!
ok - I'm cool with the jumping, and headbanging
I'm quite understanding of bumping, shoving, and even grabing
but to see people running 'roud with fists flung at high velocity really freaked me out
I understand it as a great release! It must be a lotta fun, and get out a lotta pent up stuff, but geze - there are other people around ya!
Even if the same flailing was done with open hands instead of fists, I'd be cooler with it.
oh well
The last band up was BREAK THE SILENCE. I was really feeling their music, and for most of their set, I was 3 feet or less away from the singer. He really was passionate. Sometimes we were so close, I was surprised I didn't smell his breath!
So I avoided the mosh/thrash area the whole night untill the final 2 songs of their set, I decided to take my risk, and get out there.
I did my dance.
I danced hard.
I got dizzy!
I went back to the outer circle, and opened my eyes.....
then I went back in
I danced.
I danced hard.
I went back to the outer circle, and was welcomed with a nice SHOVE back into the circle
this time I had company
I got a lil whacked - nuthin to talk about
I smiled
I went back to the outer circle, and saw a dude urging me to head back in to join the others.
huh? hmmmm....okay...why not?
I saw his two arms out, pointing to the circle, so I slaped his two hands, as I ran back in.
USTA, BABY!!!!
So I got shoved aroud a bit, as I danced some more. Good stuff! =) no harm done to me, my tape recorder, or my glasses! =)
So I complemented the performers who really deserved it on their "GREAT JOB, MAN!", and headed out.
On the drive home I decided.....ya know what? I have this tape recorder and microphone with me from recording the bands, and I got some blank tape left. I know I sing the best in the car, so why not record me?
Currently Listening to: PumpkinSeed - Leash & Corduroy (Pearl Jam Covers)
Currently Reading: blog.pwd
Currently Watching: out for bird poo
Currently Feeling: almost me
Whadduya feelin?
April 11, 2005 , 10:57 PM bla bla bla bla
PumpkinSeed
04:24
So I just recieved 34 Million Dollars (USD)
cool.
I lay here in bed....deciding what to do with it
$3,400,000; 10% Automatically written off to my church. Congrats Pastor - you can finally work out some of the dreams and visions you've had for us for so long.
$20,000,000 trusted to someone wise in investing- only to be invested in morally responsible businesses, etc. When trusted with something of great value, it's potential for growth must never be overlooked. This "savings" will only be drained significantly to make donations to worthy non-profits or others in need that can benefit many.
Oh yeah - I better get my Will done ASAP!
$10.95/month
$400 I'll finally be paying for all the Shareware and other programs I've been using since 1996!
$3,000 - I'll finally pay for some non-shareware software I've been using.
$10,000 or so - One Full Sized Grand Piano - in Beccca'a Living Room. (Crap - there goes any dancing room! Oh well!) Think I'll have it painted......Silver/Green. Sorry - you've had enough black piano's
$1,000 for some basic recording equiptment (digital recorder, stereo mics for piano, vocal mics) to setup @ Becca's.
$50,000 - that should more than cover ALL my loved ones to get a personal ALL-expence Paid Invite to attend Pathways BASIC and ADVANCED seminars! That includes Travel! Normi - You & Nikos get to go to Leadership as well!!
Dad, you get $1,000,000. That should cover my car insurance, and get ridda yer excuses for still workin @ a job that's not for you!
hmmm.....i need some instruments.....
$900 - Finally get me my guitar: Carvin AE185. I suck at playin geetar, but I wanna suck on my beautiful versitile Acoustic Electric!
Of course I'll get it customized to have a wammy bar! Don't know what Amp to get tho. Steve Vai's Legacy tube amp head may be overkill? I'll get the little Legacy & Cab combo I guess? What's that? Another $700?$800 - Then need some effects pedalz....also wanna customize my AE 185 to output a MIDI signal to a geetar emulator!
$30,000-50,000 - I'm still not solid on what car I should be getting. Should I go Jag, Buick or Infiniti? Is a Jag XJ overkill? Or should I settle for a Buick Riverra or Park Ave Ultra and put any saved $ to good use elsewhere??
From the interest of my investments, I'd like to setup annual donations to my favourite organizatons. Let's see.... $20,000,000 x 12% (a modest return) = $2,400,000. So that could be $1,000,000 to Light For The Lost, $800,000 to The Gidieons; $200,000 to Pathways to a Better World Foundation $150,000 to WBAI, $25,000 to WFMU, $3,000 to WFDQ. That leaves me with $222,000 to distribute to some others. I'm sure I'll think of more. When people learn of my recient "good Fortune", I'm gonna be bombarded w. people & organizations in need. It's good to know where I'm sending it before they get to me. It's gonna be hard to stand firm, and set limits. Notice I mostly wanna give to things that empower or support people. That's the best investments. Ah yes! Gotta support Tabulas! (Roy) I'll donate $2,000/year to Tabby/Roy that should cover the costs of 1 new server per year. Maybe with a few Dual-Processor Apple X-Serve's, he can up the 'Friends' limit from 64?
Hmm...if I'm giving away 100% of my interest each year, I won't get compound interest! Am I content only producing $2,400,000 interest each year to give away? If I give away only 80%, then 20% of the interest can compound & make more $ available to give away each year! Soon I'd have more than the origional $2,400,000 to give away each year! So I'd only give away $1.92M the 1st year, but then that extra $480,000 of investment each year could return $57,600 more interest the 2nd year, and surpass $480,000 interest earned in the 7th year, having generated $1,482,725 additional interest total by then. So after only the 7th year, 80% of my interest is more than 100% of the interest 7 years before, so I'll be giving away more than 2.4M each year, and that figure will just grow each year! Cool! Compound interest kicks butt!
I think too much.
$3,638.43 to payoff FDU, Teaneck/Hackysack. Can U belive they slapped on a $839.70 "Collection Fee"!!!??!??! Geze! I'm not even a year behind in my payments!
$26,000 or so - Zero out my Credit Card Debt. - only use cards to earn points & good credit from now on.
Wait - what will I need credit for anyway?
$9 Million to live on till I die....that'll be like a $92,700 per year allowance: that'll be my personal spending budget. (I plan to live to 120 years old...hope I'm not cutting myself short! Hope that's enough $ to live on after 92 years of inflation!)
Let's see - that's about $33,541,930 accounted for...
What should I do with the remaining $458,070??????
Any Suggestions???
I'm begining to dream again(+
Currently Listening to: Jewel - This Way
Currently Reading: blog.pwd & HTMLCodeTutorial.com
Currently Watching: nuttin
Currently Feeling: hungry
Whadduya feelin?
April 20, 2005 , 12:00 AM Observations
PumpkinSeed
I was about to go to visit my concious unconciousness, when I decided to reply to Ryza's tag first...
and.....
she's gone!!!
just when I finally put a button on my tabby so I'd visit more often, and finally catch up on some good readings....just when I discovered 2 more sites to delve into...
*!poof!*
everyone has the right to *poof* off the net ........but it sux when it'z one of the greatest.
never take anyone/anything for granted...never know when a *poof* may occur!
========================
Ryza,
I look forward to your re-poofing someday somewhere. I have so much to learn from you.
the world does.
~luvseed~
Currently Listening to: Pearl Jam - All Those Yestedays
Currently Reading: nothing...it's all gone!
Currently Watching: :blank:
Currently Feeling: suspicious
2 insights Xpresed
April 27, 2005 , 10:09 AM Living life :)
PumpkinSeed
there's nothing quite like the feeling right after a nice barf!
=) ahhhhh! =)
Currently Listening to: Silverchair - Miss You Love
Currently Reading: Medical Translation p22 A
Currently Watching: where'd my water go?
Currently Feeling: =)
2 insights Xpresed
